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Review:CambAngst says:
Back again for another chapter of Pansy's slow progress toward normality!

Ah, Adri Bennett is back. We haven't seen him for quite a while, but he's always an interesting one. Or interested, perhaps. I'm still trying to figure out his interest in Pansy. Whether her family history makes her intriguing to him or whether there's something more to it.

One thought I had about Adri and his appearance in this chapter is that the "aside" with Pansy's thoughts on her coworkers that comes between the initial mention of Adri and the actual beginning of his interaction with Clive is rather long. It makes up about 1/3 of the chapter, and by the time he reappears, my reaction was almost, "oh, yeah! Adri was here." I'm wondering whether it might be better to break Pansy's introspection about her coworkers up a little bit, so that it's interspersed with Clive and Adri's conversation?

Her thoughts about her coworkers were very well done, however. I loved all of the little thoughts and observations you worked into them that were just quintessentially Pansy.

"Even if Pansy thought that Theresa was too fanatical about her job, she had decided that she could do worse than imitate her style (though of course she had added the Parkinson flair to it)." - Ha! I love that Parkinson flair.

It's the little things about the way you write her that keep her so perfectly in character. The way she methodically watches her coworkers, but has to make sure that they don't realize that she's watching them. (They probably do realize, don't they?) The way that her father's voice always haunts the back of her mind. And especially the way that she rationalizes her need to become close to her coworkers while at the same time believing that she's better than all of them.

"There had obviously been mistakes in her notes and she needed to find them and correct them." - Oh, goodness. She is so stuck in this analytical approach to trying to figure people out!

I'm more curious than ever what Adri is playing at. His interest in Pansy and the way that life is treating her could be professional or it could be genuine. Or perhaps both. He's enigmatic in this story. Since he's a lonely voice urging caution in the rush to change the world after the Second Wizarding War, it's easy to imagine that he sees Pansy as being indicative of the fate of people who simply had the misfortune to be related to the wrong person.

The way that she's interested in him but is uncomfortable with the idea of him being too interested in her... OK, I don't want to use the word "interesting" again in this review, but let's just say it's very intriguing. Even from a distance, it seemed like he was able to touch her in a way that she didn't understand. The lump in her throat was a great little character development moment. I think it presages a big emotional breakthrough for her.

Your writing was flawless in this chapter, very impressive! I'm usually able to pick out at least one or two little things, but this was pristine! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you once again for reading and reviewing! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this- I've found myself swamped with work.

I'm that you find Adri interesting- it certainly wouldn't be good to keep re-introducing a boring character, now would it? And as to his purpose, you'll have to read on to find that out (though it won't be revealed for at least another few chapters). :)

Thanks for pointing that out- yes, it probably would be better! I know that I had Adri's part written out and then included that introspection at a later date... I suppose I got a little carried away with it. :) I'll have to go back and re-work that section.

I'm glad that you liked her comments on her co-workers. It's very interesting to write about them from Pansy's view point, since she is so opinionated on a matter that influences how she views everything. And it makes me so happy to hear that you still think that she's in character (especially with the small shifts that have occurred over the story so far).

I haven't really thought about if they've noticed but I think that they probably have (Pansy's not the most skilled...). It's not a big point for them (yet) because they all have odd quirks and they don't really see the harm in it.

Haha- I tend to use "interesting" as well in a lot of your reviews (it just works so well with what I want to express...) so it's not a problem.

The "lump" moment was definitely a very interesting moment to write (and there I go using "interesting"). Pansy has, in some ways, avoided thinking about her father being in Azkaban and the small comment really brought the knowledge home that her father is in prison. The moment is definitely the beginning of a change in her behaviour (though it won't be large, I don't think).

Thank you once again for reviewing this chapter and for your compliments! I really appreciate it!


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