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Review:manno_malfoy says:
Pity. I pity Dolores Umbridge and it's your fault! I truly liked the blind hate I had for her before reading this and I'm not quite sue how I feel about this alteration. Nonetheless, I do know that I absolutely loved the piece responsible for the change and for several reasons.

Every single bit of this story seems to have been meticulously thought through. Whether it's the characters you have chosen to be at Hogwarts then or the part you've chosen to include from her adulthood. You've made a heavily scarred woman glow with brilliance and believable consistency of state despite the change in surrounding the passing of time and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially loved her long-term determination, how she never seems to forgets about the things she wishes to do despite everything. It really does sound like her.

You said you were worried about the time jump. Well, I wouldn't be. You've chosen a particularly important part of Dolores's life to show us, you've shown us how victory looks like to her and how she processes it in her mind. And for some reason, I don't think it would've worked as well if you had placed it anywhere else. I liked how when I read the part after it about how she was going to make sure she humiliates Dumbledore the way he had humiliated her, I had already seen her do it and win a round against him. I don't know why I liked this progression but I just do!

I also think you've done wonderful work regarding her 'psychology' as you had put it. I felt that you made me understand her so well and have given very good reasons and explanations to the hatred and bitterness she seemed to showcase later on in her life.

The most fascinating thing was how you found such subtle and lovely ways to slip in other things that determined Dolores's outer features. I mean, her adoration for cats, the color pink, and so on. They're such tiny details but they add a lot to Umbridge and I like how you made such things influenced and not just-because.

I think you're a brilliant writer! I really loved your style and your description throughout the piece. There seems to be a couple of typos. I only remember one though.
"I will speak to Professor Slughorn about Master Burke..."
I may be be wrong but I believe 'master' supposed to be 'mister'?

Anyway, I'm so glad I got the chance to read this story! It's such an interesting take on Umbridge and I think that you've explored her really well. And I apologise for having taken such a long time to get to your review but I've been busy.

Oh, and good luck with the challenge!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry I've taken so long to respond to this review, I've been on night shifts and my brain's been all over the place!

Well, thank you for appreciating my story so much, please feel free to go back to blind hatred of Umbridge. I still detest the woman. Go and read the chapter when she scars Harry. That'll help.

Thanks for the encouragement about the time jump. I moved that section around a few times, and deleted it at one point, but to hear that you think it's well placed is really good. As for seeing Dolores winning a round against Dumbledore... It made me sad, so I tried to make it better by giving him the last word in the story. Even if he's sad because all the pink ones have gone, heehee!

I'm glad you picked up on and enjoyed the little details like the colour pink and the kitty cats. I always enjoy putting them in to my stories!

'Master' is what I meant. It's an old-fashioned but still sometimes used word to mean a young man. So, before you're a Mister, you're a Master!

Thank you very much for the review, it's much appreciated :) I wasn't sure about this story but the reviews I have received have been so helpful in making me more confident in it.

Athene xo


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