This banner legit made me laugh of loud. Tom Felton just looks so damn beautiful, am i rite? ;) but gah, I wrote a whole fic about this and I regret it now. But ah well, I look forward to seeing your thoughts on it, and especially now that I agree with most of them.
"Daphne Greengrass and Theodore Nott, although they were less attractive and therefore less important". ah3h3h3, oh I like this. And the annual dance, nice touch. I can taste your irony from here (not literally, although I always imagine irony to taste like syrup)
'But,' Theodore's face clouded with confusion. 'What if they got papercuts-' That made me genuinely laugh out loud, which doesn't very often happen in fics. 10 house points for Julia!
"Draco, as the most handsomest, richest, and famousest member of the group, possessed an authority as solid as a particularly solid rock. Like all rocks, it was also heavy, and Draco often felt burdened and angst-ridden by the metaphorical weight of it upon his shoulders." Oh woe is Draco! But seriously, I love all your ironic cliches. You are just fandabbydozey.
Oh a masquerade ball! There should be some kind of internet bell to ring every time there is a cliche. And of course it would sound like the Inception brm. BRM.
"I like it when they play hard to get,' Blaise said, with a smouldering glance towards the dancefloor. 'Makes me want them even more.'" AHHH. I don't like Blaise, that is fully scary. But lolol, you wrote Pansy in the old quizilla way, and oh how I have a weak spot for laughing at Pansy when you write her like that.
But he needed his eye mask first (it was black, to match his outfit and his angst-ridden soul).../'Masks on,' Draco muttered. 'We've got girls to kiss.' When I read that in the chapter summary, I genuinely imagined gas masks and thought that it would be awfully hard for him to kiss anyone when he looked like a ghostbuster. But you have cleared this up for me. Thank you, oh brilliant one ;)
"'We already shook on this,' Blaise said cautiously, as Draco thrust his hand out./'Shake again!' Draco barked." I love this. There is something about it that made me laugh. I can just see him commanding in a kind of regal manner, like a king, a very drunk king...
And this dance is how I'm going to make friends at the Freshers Ball..."A silly dance that involved impersonating a Hippogriff; occasionally, the lights in the hall would illuminate another group of students stumbling around flapping imaginary wings and pecking their heads at thin air." Someone will join me and I'll know that I have found another kindred spirit. This sounds good.
"He sighed again, this time adding a bit more anguish to the act/he thought he could totally be the hottest babe magnet Slytherin house had ever seen." This boy is just brillopads. You don't understand how much I am laughing at this and at him - Slytherin's hottest babe magnet.
"He was drunk and he was at school and he was wearing a black tuxedo. That was the epitome of cool. That was the apex of the apex of cool." You are the apex of the apex. You are better than the apex.
"The dress was, indeed, very expensive and low-cut, made of some daringly red satiny material and built to hug the curves that she’d apparently been hiding, which Draco was rather pleased to see were mostly in the right places." I adore you.
THE DWARVES! "Out of nowhere, a string quartet began to play." They always appear just in time for some sombre music.
"I know what you are,' she said./'Say it,' he hissed. 'Say it out loud.'/'Sorry,' Draco said, a little sheepishly. 'I'm not supposed to get the mark until next week.'/'Christmas present, is it?" I reiterate my earlier point: I adore you.
"The music crashed into a climax with all the force of a troll with a jetpack. /'I still hate you,' she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Bright red lipstick smeared across her face." I need to say something witty to show you how much I love what you are writing, but instead I will just say that those were my intentions, but I can't think of anything to rival this genius.
"'Head Boy and Head Girl. Think of the shared dormitory. Think of the shared hot tub.'/'I don't want you to walk in on me coming out the shower or anything.'" Your cliche knowledge is astounding (unlike this review, which is terrible and consists of too many quotes with too little reflection on said quotes)
"I shall discover that I am actually the heiress of a substantial fortune and Blaise's long-lost sister and I get a makeover." AH CROSSOVER WITH MIA ZABINI. And lolol broom cupboard. AND BONSAI CROSSOVER WOO.
BUT AHHH I DIDN'T HAPPEN. AHH INCEPTION. AH IT WAS FUNNY AND I LIKE THIS. "This isn't an antidote,' he said. 'This is tea.'/She shrugged. 'Same thing.'" YOU KNOWWW!
Draco is legit a brooding vampire, how dare you suggest otherwise ;) Julia, this was hilarious. I want to cuddle you and let you know about how much I adore you for writing this and for making me laugh as much as you did. You are just brilliant. I love you. I LOVE YOU. I LURVE YOU ♥ ♥ ♥
Author's Response: it is the most beautiful, majestic photo of tfeltz in existence, how dare you mock it.
water you on about, irony tastes like spinach!
oh ho ho i like house points, they are pointy.
when you say ironic cliches, you really mean spinach-flavoured cliches, right?
brr rrr rrr rrrm.
yes, blaise is a bit of a creep, hehe. and remember pansy and the neck-high, floor-length, full-sleeved brown frilly nightdress? because I do.
gas masks! are you my mummy?
draco used to rule the world, seas would rise when he gave the word. now in the morning he sleeps alone, sweeps the streets he used to own.
it's the birdie dance, only magical!
WE ARE BETTER THAN THE APEX. WE ARE THE 64TH BEST JULIA AND HANNAH IN THE COUNTRY.
I'm bringing sexy dwarves. hey! them other dwarves don't know how to act. hey!
seriously, though. /think/ of the shared hot tub.
inception dramione! brrrm.
I wuv yu ♥ ♥ ♥