First of all, I want you to know that this is absolutely unique, and I have never read something like this before. Oh, and I loved it.
When the link brought me directly to the chapter, I was tempted to go back and see the story summary, which I did not do. Good for me. When reading, it wasn't obvious at first which character you were writing. The line that made me realise it was Draco was this one:
- People used to think I never got scared. They thought that because I was so mean and uncaring I didnít feel fear. -
I think this sums up the traditional image we have of Draco, and I must admit that I'm very impressed by your portrayal of him. You give more depth than the nasty, slimy Slytherin that is sometimes found around here, and though I don't normally like him, your characterisation made me appreciate him more.
That was before I read the end. I should have known there would be something along those lines, because Draco is /not/ a character that, I think, would feel remorse from a break up. His ego might be bruised, yes, but he wouldn't feel this guilty.
Your buildup towards those last lines is amazing, and when I read it I was like, wait, what?
- I killed her.
And the owl is no ordinary owl. That owl is death.
I think that the way you put in "remember" to finish this one-shot off is perfect: it gives an eerie echo, something a bit spooky, that suggests that everything is not finished.
Now, grammar and spelling. I've spotted a few minor errors (misuse of it's, and one or two spelling mistakes), but nothing worth me pulling my hair out.
I think you could write a sequel, though at the same time there /is/ a sense of completion. I think it's up to you: if you feel like something is missing or that there is more to be said, write away! If you only write a sequel because you've been asked to, don't feel obliged.
It's all up to you!
I hope this rises up to your review expectations?
Author's Response: Hello, sorry it's taken so long to reply :( Thank you so so so so much!
Yeah, I linked you to the chapter for that reason and I'm so glad you didn't go back!
Wow, that line? I'm glad! People usually guess when he's says he selfish or something like that.
Oh, that's good! I always liked Draco more after I wrote this :D
Thank youuu thank you!!! *squeels* This was such and awesome review!! xx
Ok, I'll have a quick look through and fix the mistakes :)
Hmm, I might. If I do, I'll let you know :)
Just one question, why 9/10? What is there that I can improve? I love getting 8 and 9s/10 because then I know there's room to improve instead of someone doing 10 to be nice x
Thank you thank you thank you xx