|Review:||Toujours Padfoot says:|
Oh my god.
The entire time I was reading this I just kept picturing Sirius as Jackie Flannery in State of Grace (a role played by Gary Oldman, ofc), and SDKFJKSDFJ. This was perhaps one of the most vivid scenes in In The Red so far for me; I don't know what it was, but I felt extremely present. The rain and the awning, the waiting for Remus while Sirius messed around with a red ball, the teeth chattering, etc. I was right there, I swear it.
An event that started out so normal - bonding at the cinema, all because of bossy Sirius, unraveled into this amazing mess with Caradoc and Voldemort's interest in Lily and James, and as you can probably imagine, my cogs are spinning nonstop at the moment. At first when Remus was late, I wondered if this was how you were going to lead into Sirius thinking Remus was the traitor in their midst. And then that got me thinking once again about what Sirius would think if he discovered Beth's friendship with Severus (especially if he discovered it post-James's death when James could no longer vouch for her), and got me wondering if they all would think that Beth was the traitor. It would fit. And I have no idea where you're going to go but I cannot wait to get there and see how it all unfolds.
Sirius in this was just...I am scrabbling for words here. He is so vibrant. He is arguably one of the most vibrant characters in this story because of the details you paint about him. He flies right off the page. Allow me to sit here on my cloud of arrogance and tell myself that my constant pecking for Sirius scenes has had something to do with that.
And what Sirius said about replacing James's role in Beth's life - he's sort of right. Sirius is much more involved in her life than James is at the moment. Even though she didn't confide the secret about Severus in him, choosing to tell only James, she spends a lot of time with Sirius nowadays.
Now prepare yourself, because I am going to yell at you.
No, I can't even do that because my heart is just mush right now. YOU BROKE IT. YOU JUST COMPLETELY DESTROYED ALL OF MY FEELINGS. When Sirius grabbed her hand and Beth pulled away, horrified, and his subsequent embarrassment - I just. God.
-dies a thousand times-
I AM A MUSHY MESS ON THE FLOOR. I want to crawl into this story and hug him, but also probably not because he's a wee bit volatile and might not take too kindly to charity hugs, especially when he's all confused and his ego has been stomped into the pavement. But how quickly he bounced back! Stung by rejection, and then as soon as the puzzle pieces fell into place and he realized what was going on, he began to delude himself so that he wouldn't have to face facts. Beth and Sirius are not James and Lily, and I feel so, so, so bad for him that he's drawing that comparison when he is not the right one for Beth. He craves the companionship and warmth that Lily provides for James, and desperately wants that for himself, but he's got so many screens in front of his eyes. He thinks the obvious solution is Beth. And why not Beth? They're both the leftovers, after all, and they're friends. He's looking at it from such a logical point of view, and JDFKSJDF. -pulls out hair- AND THE ENDING. FAVORITE PART. When James is there and Sirius doesn't want to talk to him, doesn't want to listen to any more, doesn't want that illusion to shatter again, and he calls out for Peter to slow down.
Best characterization on this site. Hands-down. Not just of Sirius, but of anyone. You're so thorough that I'm not totally sure you can even appreciate just how thorough you are - it seems to come so naturally for you. But I am in complete awe on this side of the screen.
And Beth. I feel sick for her, I really do, imagining that Severus could have known things about James and Lily and kept it from her. And God help him if he did because Beth's not one to shy away from a confrontation if one is warranted. Now I'm anxious, wondering if he did know this and purposefully kept his mouth shut. But then again, looking from his point of view, he's got to be careful about what he lets slip to Beth, especially with Peter hanging around. It's easy to have the mindset 'well, he should tell her absolutely everything', but Severus willfully joined these people. And furthermore, if anyone finds out he's been giving confidential information to a member of the Order, that's his neck on the line. I'd imagine he'd have to pick and choose what to relay, and it would be difficult to trust putting all your eggs in a basket that is best friends with Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter. This whole dynamic is absolutely insane and so complex. I am floored by every single chapter and they always get me thinking about what's going to happen next. I JUST LOVE THESE CHARACTERS, CAN I SAY THAT. I FEEL LIKE I KNOW THEM.
Okay, going to shut up now.
Author's Response: I love your responses to the chapters that I always just feel are filler material. Because for some reason to you, they never really are, and I just sdfhkdfs. ♥
One of my favorite things about writing the middle section of this book (and ew, it feels weird to say that I'm /not/ writing the middle section anymore) is just the sort of thing you pointed out -- there's a lot of complexity, and basically everyone in this story's on a different plane of thinking, so that there are a lot of unseen things going on at any given moment. Peter's only very recently agreed to play double agent, unbeknownst to any of the others, who figure he's just hanging around the marquee with them like always. And of course Beth's hiding Severus from Sirius, though James knows about it, all while Sirius is trying to make himself love Beth... WHY DON'T THESE PEOPLE EVER JUST TALK ABOUT THINGS.
Bahaha -- I totally write Siribeth for you! That is absolutely no secret. ♥ Because you basically introduced the notion in the first place (even if I kind of falsified it). I feel really bad for him, though, because he just feels so bad, and he can't see that the aims he's trying to undergo to alleviate that feeling are actually going to make him feel worse in the long run. If he looked for two seconds, he could see that Beth isn't interested, and he could see that James thinks it's a bad idea, but he /doesn't/ stop to look because I think he knows it's a bad idea, too. And he doesn't want to see that mirrored in someone else's thoughts and know it's true.
Ahem. I apparently get philosophical before nine in the morning.
YOU MAY SAY YOU LOVE THESE CHARACTERS, I WILL ACCEPT SUCH A PHRASE. ♥ Beth and Severus are at such a rocky point right now; they both know feelings are there, and they know feelings are there in each other, and they're in so much danger and they want to tell all the things, and can tell none of them, and I don't know if it's socially acceptable to want to hug your own characters but 'tis such, in my heart.
WHY ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THE BEST REVIEWER EVER. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Your reviews, your feedback, your comments, they totally made this story. And continue to shape it, because heck no, I have not planned more than a couple chapters of book three. :3
Seriously. Thank you /so much/. ♥ I love you!!