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Review:manno_malfoy says:
Ah, now I'm regretting having taken so much time to get to this story! Even though its summary showed how an interesting prospect is included in the story, I wasn't expecting it to have this intriguing dynamic.

I haven't read your previous story, yet I found myself following up with what's going on. I'm sure that reading the story prior to this one would make more things make better sense, but this seems to be a sequel that can stand on its own without confusing the readers. It also helps that the idea itself is very interesting, making even those who don't know the previous story want to go ahead and read the rest of this one. Or that's what I think I'll do anyway.

I liked the interactions throughout the chapter. I also really like your characters, whether it's the humble main character who is clearly overwhelmed by the new responsibility or Hermione whose confidence in speech and arranged plans helped keep her in-character. It seemed very logical to me that she'd be thinking about changes in the Hogwarts experience for Muggleborns and all!

On the technical side of the matter, I don't think I've managed to spot any mistakes and, for me, the story seemed to flow well without having anything interrupt the sequence of events. Nonetheless, I do believe that it would be better if you let us see and feel more of your characters' surroundings through description.

I hope I'll get the time to read the next chapters and I'm really sorry for having you wait so long for your requested review.


Author's Response: No worries about the wait! As you can tell from the length of time it's taken these stories to come together I can tell that there are several things that much more important than HPFF...

My (cynical and Slytherinish) goal with this one was to try to draw readers in with the NextGen pitch, who would then go back and read Lion, Eagle, Badger, Snake. Hasn't quite worked yet, mind. I think I need a banner.

You're not the only person to have suggested that my description of the surroundings can be a bit brief, so I'll certainly target that a little more closely in the later chapters (writing #12 at the moment).

Thanks again - I would be interested in seeing what you thought of the setting/description in the next two chapters as they're inspired by places that I know well: if I've slacked off there then I'm just being lazy and need to go edit...


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