Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:EverDiggory says:
Here with your review!

Plot: I have to say, the end were Draco comes out did pick up my interest. I'm interested to see hwo you portray him, but with your inclusion of the word sneer, I can expect he will be his usual self...at least for a little bit? Perhaps I'm wrong, but;P The ending definitely hooked me, so I need ot know whats going to happen next

Garmmar/Spelling: This was fine! I saw no mistakes. One thing, which really doesn't fit here, but really doesn't fit anywhere else, is that the authors note should be in bold, or should have a page break or something. Let me rephrase, it doesn't need it per se, but it would be nice to signal the end of the chapter.

Flow: I suppose this is a bit of a useless comment, but so far your flow is great! You didn't hop around anywhere so the flow was wonderful(;

Characterization: I love Hermione. I think you have her pretty well. She cares but she's not overly dramatic. Lavender is plenty annoying, so you got her spot on as well! Oh, Ron! Gosh! You daft being... I'm not sure whether to be frustrated he didn't realize she was hurt or happy because now Draco gets to be in the picture(; I like Ron, even though we saw a little of him. So daft and doesn't realize how he's being. Even though we saw very, very, verly little of Draco, so far you've got him down! Hhaha just the word sneer and referring to her as Granger really kept him flawlessly canon! Haha(:

Imagery: While there wasn't much, I think you had just the right amount for what happened in this chapter! Finding a balance with your imagery/descriptions is pretty hard to me at least, and you did really great!

One thing I have to add is I love, love, love the beginning! It is so true and its one of those lines that you don't ever quite forget! You think about it when something like this happens to you, and I love that. Giving your readers a beautiful line such as that really gives this story a gorgeous touch. The whole paragraph just sent a bell off in my head, this is going to be an amazing story. I also feel like this story is going to be a touching romance rather than a fluff. A romance with really deep emotions and I'm excited to read!

Feel free to rerequest hun!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Well as i've already told you, I absolutely love your reviews! This review just has me gushing! I'm so happy that you couldn't really find anything wrong with this first chapter and that it does make you want to read more and that you think it will be a cute romance story! Thank you so much for the wonderful review and being willing to help me make this story even better!

~Slytherinchica08~

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net