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Review:EverDiggory says:
Here with your review!

Plot: I have to say, the end were Draco comes out did pick up my interest. I'm interested to see hwo you portray him, but with your inclusion of the word sneer, I can expect he will be his usual least for a little bit? Perhaps I'm wrong, but;P The ending definitely hooked me, so I need ot know whats going to happen next

Garmmar/Spelling: This was fine! I saw no mistakes. One thing, which really doesn't fit here, but really doesn't fit anywhere else, is that the authors note should be in bold, or should have a page break or something. Let me rephrase, it doesn't need it per se, but it would be nice to signal the end of the chapter.

Flow: I suppose this is a bit of a useless comment, but so far your flow is great! You didn't hop around anywhere so the flow was wonderful(;

Characterization: I love Hermione. I think you have her pretty well. She cares but she's not overly dramatic. Lavender is plenty annoying, so you got her spot on as well! Oh, Ron! Gosh! You daft being... I'm not sure whether to be frustrated he didn't realize she was hurt or happy because now Draco gets to be in the picture(; I like Ron, even though we saw a little of him. So daft and doesn't realize how he's being. Even though we saw very, very, verly little of Draco, so far you've got him down! Hhaha just the word sneer and referring to her as Granger really kept him flawlessly canon! Haha(:

Imagery: While there wasn't much, I think you had just the right amount for what happened in this chapter! Finding a balance with your imagery/descriptions is pretty hard to me at least, and you did really great!

One thing I have to add is I love, love, love the beginning! It is so true and its one of those lines that you don't ever quite forget! You think about it when something like this happens to you, and I love that. Giving your readers a beautiful line such as that really gives this story a gorgeous touch. The whole paragraph just sent a bell off in my head, this is going to be an amazing story. I also feel like this story is going to be a touching romance rather than a fluff. A romance with really deep emotions and I'm excited to read!

Feel free to rerequest hun!



Author's Response: Well as i've already told you, I absolutely love your reviews! This review just has me gushing! I'm so happy that you couldn't really find anything wrong with this first chapter and that it does make you want to read more and that you think it will be a cute romance story! Thank you so much for the wonderful review and being willing to help me make this story even better!


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