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Review:BeaJerry says:
hey! it's beajerry from the ravenclaw review battle, here with your review!
(can i just apologize in advance for my lack of capitals, the 'shift' button is broken.)
so it's a good start to a next-gen; quidditch, the two potter boys, a funny narrative and a plot already. i've only read the first chapter, but it's shaping up to be like any other next-gen romcom- quidditch, the two potter boys, a funny narrative and a plot. this is good and all, and don't get me wrong, i'm excited to read the next chapter, but i just wish that you'll avoid the typical next-gen potter/oc stereotypes in this story.
the narrative is funny, but not funny enough to the opening seven paragraphs of an un-interrupted monologue. personally, i like the opening chapter to really draw me in- humour, an introduction and sly description of the narrator and her relationship with james- which will make me eager to read the next chapter. all this chapter has going for it is a slight cliffhanger.
but hopefully all will be introduced in chapter two?
anyway. it's a good start, but i'm just hoping you'll avoid the typical nextgen cliches in order to make this really special. hopefully more characters, wit, descriptions and humour will be featured in the next chapter, too.
bea xo

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