Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D I'm sorry for the absolutely massive amount of time since my last review. School started back up so I've been busy again. Anyhow, let's go over things:

Characterization: Okay! So, we've got a lot about Morgan's development in this chapter. I think it's interesting how you've explained that her preference towards Dark magic actually started quite early. It's a little Mary-Sue-ish that she knew so many spells at eleven years old, though. But I'm interested to see how she gets to being so "evil" (so to say) later. I'll read more ASAP.

Descriptions: Okay, I really am quite fond of ranting about details. I really liked how you described the sitting room and Morgan's mother's outfit, but there wasn't much else about the surroundings, etc. I didn't know what the garden looked like or how Theodore looked, etc. Those details could really help bring this chapter to life.

Emotions: So, I liked that I could feel Morgan's surprise and awkwardness when she kissed Theodore and he didn't respond positively. That spoke volumes to me. Well done!

Plot: Okay, so we have Morgan's past with Theo. Really quite interesting! It's a little odd that this impacted her so much, even though she's so young, but I suppose sometimes these things do. I also liked that she was unexpectedly sorted into Gryffindor. I'm sure that will bring big changes later. Good job with the overarching narration explaining the effects of everything. It makes me interested to see how everything came about.

Pacing: So far, so good! I think this chapter flowed quite well, even with the flashback and narration. You're doing quite well. Keep up the good work and I'll read more ASAP!

--Emily

Author's Response: Hey Emily, glad to see you back! :)

I was actually worried about making Morgan know so many spells, but then I remembered from the books how Snape was described as knowing more Dark Arts spells before his first year than all of the 7th years combined. This got me thinking that since our main characters were Harry the orphan, Hermione the Muggle-born and Ron the, uh, not very studious, the impression has been created that all Hogwarts students come to school with zero magical knowledge. But if they have academics for parents (like Morgan) and are of old Magical blood, then they probably get acquainted with Magical theory while taking breaks from learning how to count, you know what I mean? Besides, they probably also get sent to prep kindergartens or something like that. I made Theodore know just as many spells as Morgan in oder to illustrate exactly this point. I'll try to make it clearer though :)

Also, the garden! You are right, it basically went undescribed. I will get on to solving that problem asap. Thank you for doing this and hope to see you back again soon :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 161
Submit Report: