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Review:katti4493 says:
Really interesting idea. I LOVE Tom Riddle stories, and I love how in this chapter you pull the reader right in with your "declaration of intent" for this story (i.e. explaining how Tom was broken by Sophie.)

I also really liked how your language was very colloquial and portrayed your character's background. There were a couple of words that I think (though am not sure) should have capital letters at the beginning such as Muggle and Muggle-born, but other than that your style flowed really well.

The only thing I would say (because there has got to be some constructive criticism!) is the paragraph where you explain how his hatred of Muggles extended from Sophie breaking his heart sounds a little implausible in relation to canon events, but it definitely could be a contributing factor. I think it would be really interesting if you explored other reasons that Tom went bad alongside Sophie's story to make him a really well rounded character.

Other than that, I thought it was a great start and I hope you keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks :) I thought it would possibly be a cool spin off Riddle. OH, you are right. Muggle is capitalized. Missed that. Thanks, I'll change that as soon as I can. There are definitely other reasons to his hatred. Sophie doesn't know, of course, because not many knew about Tom's past, so she blames herself. I plan on including more. I have to change a few things, however. Because Tom is popular in this story and in J.K.'s he just had followers. You know? But I'll put in canon events, no worries ;)
Thanks for the review :)


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