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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hello!

This was a very well thought out piece. I really liked your style of repetition because it brought more strength into it, and it reminded us over and over of his own pain.

What I'm having the most trouble understanding are his motives. He tries to pretend she left him, when it was him that killed her. So I do think you could use a sequel because it's hard to identify with his pain, then with the darkness he committed without knowing, if he did love her that much, why he killed her. Was she having an affair? Was he afraid she would leave him, and wanted to rid her of the earth before she had the chance? Just something to help us understand.

Your use of imagery in this is really beautiful, I loved the darkness surrounding the entire piece, it really gave me the kind of tension I think you wanted to create.

So, I do think this is a good piece, but I think it would be stronger with something else to stand beside it - like you were saying maybe a sequel :)! I would love to read about what drove him to this, what happened when he did, what was the aftermath, all of things surrounding such a horrible act.

I hope this was helpful!!

Jami

Author's Response: Hey, sorry for taking so long to reply :(

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!

The thing is, I've been told that I don't really need a sequal. They said 'Keep this up and I think you could make a sequel... but it's not necessary. It might drag on if you don't do it perfect ;) I think this was an ending in itself, but if you feel confident that you have more to bring to this, by all means, do it!' So I don't really know if I should do one or not :/
But I'll let you know if I do do one :)

This was very helpful, thanks :)

~ Eilidh xx



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