|Review:||The Last Marauder says:|
Hi there! I'm here from the review tag with your review!
This is a brilliant one-shot, where you capture a very sensitive issue very well. I don't understand why is hasn't been reviewed before, because it really is a great display of writing, and you managed to address a very sentitive issue, without making it too horrible or too disturbing.
I loved how you explained night terrors at the start. It needed to be done, but it also set the reader up for the story, which is always a good thing to do.
Your opening lines were great at drawing the reader in, they held my attention and made me want to continue reading (which is what great opening lines are supposed to do).
I loved how all your sentences and paragraphs were short. It conveyed the tension in the story very well. Everything was start - stop - start - stop, which is a really effective way of protraying tension or confusion/a mystery in a story. Very well done, I thought that was absolutely brilliant.
I must say, I LOVED this line:
"but not staring at Frank. Staring through Frank, at something he couldn't see."
- it just captured the situation perfectly and the way you phrased it was spot on!
I loved the ending too, it was very nice, and after a tough-going fic (in terms of the sensitive issue theme) is was a great way to end it, sort of a nice, sweet ending, and just makes you feel happy or at least up-beat at the end - a great touch!
I loved how you captured Lily too, she was so kind and thoughtful and the way she coped with the situation was just so Lily, she does all she could to help. Even little details like correcting Frank when he said dream instead of terror were great additions in terms of characterisation, so well done there too!
I don't know what else to tell you. This is a beautifully written story, that deals with a sensitive issue extremely well. Do not be disheartened by the lack of reviews, because I think this is brilliant all around! Congratulations on a very moving, very sad, but also very nice fic! :-)
Author's Response: Thank you!!! Now I feel all warm and fluffly inside :)
I loved writing this from the start. It was for a challenge, and I saw the quote I was supposed to be basing it off of and just thought of night terrors, mostly because my brother has them occasionally.
I did have to research them, though, because I knew very little about them except you can't remember anything when you wake up - it was fun learning about it :)
I guess I never really thought about my opening lines - I never really thought about the quality of this fic in general because, well, nobody reviewed it, so when it was done, it just fell into the back corners of my mind... but now I love it again :) And with the sentences, I just naturally write things like that for one-shots - I think it adds to the effect.
I love that line too, but in reality, I can imagine it would be quite scary to have someone stare through you - seems weird, but I do love that line.
I love writing Lily. She is a great character, but I think she is usually characterized as hot-headed and nothing else. She was a prefect too, and Head Girl, and I don't think she would have become those things if she was always hexing James - she would've had to get detention some time. So I really love showing that other side of her - the friend side, instead of the angry-red-head-with-wand side.
Thank you so much for the brilliant review - you're awesome!