A Belated Review for a Beautiful Rin!
Okay, so now that I gave you your sensible feedback via pm the other week, I can legitimately FREAK OUT with excitement over this chapter in this review and rewrite the whole thing with AHHH's in between! First of all though I am SO SORRY it took me forever and a day to get round to posting on here. I forgot to do it before I went on holiday, and then I was going to do it ON holiday but I only had my rubbish iPhone screen so I HAD TO WAIT :( but here I am!
I honestly thought that meeting Scorpius and really having them chatting would be a little more drawn out than this, but I am SO GLAD it's not. This is perfect. Brilliant timing and the best way ever to poke this story along :) They are just too insanely cute. They're both antisocial dorks getting drunk in an antisocial dorky pub and I'm happy this is by no means cliche/too over-dramatic right now. You could have made this all unrequited and everything, where they never talk ever again but I'm glad that they are talking and have the opportunity to know each other! I'm glad that Scorpius isn't too out of his league or anything, too, or doesn't think he is at least, because I just WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BEAR THAT. SO GLAD he's not a douche. The last chapter was great in really getting to know Lysander (and he is a lovely chappy) but I feel as though in this one we know Scorpius more. Like, he's a bit brash sometimes and his confidence has got to be a facade. I kind of like that I don't like him as much as Lysander. I feel like an overprotective mother with him hahaha. But in the same way, to be drinking alone in a bar with just his thoughts - it makes me wonder if Scorpius is okay after all. And then I think of how much Lysander can SAVE HIM and I get so stupidly excited about the next chapters and how everything has got to be okayy ♥
I am so amazed and inspired too by the way you keep up the Lysander-ish tone of the narrative. Everything is very black and white and grey with Ly. Like, the way you described the sign: 'There was a shrill singing of metal on metal, a sound that was almost familiar and yet strangely unsettling'. He has to analyse the sound and liken it to something and know why it makes that noise and just think so much about everything. There are so many bits like this that you include that just make me think 'wow, how do you remember to keep this all up?'. It's really refreshing because then I feel like I'm not just reading a fanfic, I'm reading Lysander's story, full of his quirks and habits and character. It is just really lovely and really inspiring.
I really liked, too, the way Lysander had more of a voice. It was as though this confidence just blossomed out of him for some reason. He was so frank when talking to Scorpius, like when he pretty much admitted that he feels second best to his brother. Would he have normally said this? I'm glad all these fiery feelings are being voiced, even if he's unsure about them right now or maybe will be. But I suppose it's good too because he just straight out asked Scorpius to go with him to the wedding, like BAM. I was taken aback and AHH I grinned for ages. Like I said before, Lysander had the potential within him to mope but I'm so glad he's not ♥ AHH I'M SO GLAD THEY'RE GOING TOGETHER.
Though I bet you're gonna do something really mean. Like...Chapter Four: Lysander woke up and it was all a dream.
I WOULD DIE :(
Hahahaha I can't wait for the next one :'D
Author's Response: Laura, I'll let you in on a lovely little secret: your review has inspired the actual sit-down-and-write-the-bleep-out-of-this part of writing the next chapter. You are so, so marvelous, and I cannot begin to describe how motivating you are! I'm about 3/4ths of the way through it right now, and I keep checking back on this review so I'll finish it!
I'm also not quite sure how to respond. It's all just so lovely and GAH you are amazing. I guess I'll go bit-by-bit.
I'm so glad it's not cliche/over dramatic! That was a big concern - obviously I wanted the two to talk, but I didn't want it to be like "SO I'M GAY AND WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU NOW." And in my head, Scorpius is a lot more confident and good-looking than Lysander is, but that doesn't make him arrogant or out of Lysander's league. I'm glad you like that, too!
I'm actually really pleased that you don't like Scorpius as much as Lysander! I think you're almost not supposed to - Lysander is the main character, in my eyes, and Scorpius is there to mix things up (either in a bad way or a good way, we'll see).
Ha, yes, Lysander definitely has to analyze absolutely everything, even the sound of metal on metal. In terms of "keeping it up," it's really just the style I'm used to with this novel - before I start writing anything, I'll read a few chapters before it and get myself as comfortably as possible into Lysander's head, and then the analyzing bits normally come naturally. Normally.
YOU UNDERSTAND LYSANDER SO WELL it just kills me. In a good way, of course. Gah. I admire your perceptive powers, m'dear.
Ha, I wouldn't be that mean! All a dream. That's definitely a cop-out. :P
All my love,