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Review:Viikidaviking says:
Calling for this rather late review swap >.>

That was intersting, but I do have some things to say. The paragrapghs were rather short and 90% of the time they started with the letter 'I' It's not a big thing, but it was a bit annoying. Perhaps you could squash some of the short paragraphs together to create a larger one? Or you could even think up some more words or different ways to start of your paragraphs than putting something like 'I did this' or 'I fet this' Those are the only bad things I have to say about this, other than that it was a great story to read and a good job. It was a little rushed though :S But as yo did explain in the AN you were rushed for time, but now It's posted you mat thing about expanding it and adding some more detail to it? Something to keep in mind.

The emotions in this was great, but I did think some things were a little pointless to add in. The bit about Tonks in her first year and that other girl- what was the point of that really? But you can just ignore me as it's your one-shot and not mine. You did a good job in all and with a little more time and editing this could be a really great one-shot :) Nice job!

Calling x

Author's Response: Hey, thanks :)

Hmm, I'll have to go back and have a look at that. But my writing is usually short sentences and paragraphs, that's just my style. Some people really like it, and others not so much.
But the 'I' thing I'll defenety have to work on.

The thing about her first year wasn't actually pointless. I put that in becasue it was one of the biggest days of her life, and cos she thought she was about to die, that came to mind, and the girl was such a small thing that became big because of the situation she was in... if that makes any sence :/

Thanks again, and I'll go back and edit when I have time :D


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