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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hello! This was a very sweet start! It's nice that you have them as adults and already working, and that they took a break and just remained friends for a bit before they jumped back into their relationship.

You still have a few rough patches, I think that beta could really help with those :). Beta readers are the best, I don't know what I'd do without mine half the time.

I liked that you had Hermione instinctively trying to pull away from Ron, I'm sure she was very scared and talking about it probably wasn't the top thing on her to do list.

I also liked Ron's hesitation. I think you may even be able to expand on that. We know Ron isn't the best with women, or words, or thinking things through... maybe muttering something that was suppose to sound supportive but really just sounded a bit jerky would be good? It seems like Hermione and him are always suffering from some sort of communication difficulty, so maybe you can play with that a bit in here until they get to that 'it'll be okay' conclusion.

I would have also loved to see more of Hermione's thought process after finding out. I'm sure she's aiming toward high goals with the ministry, and even if she does love and want to keep the baby, there was probably some serious doubt at first and those normal - this wasn't how I planned it - feelings.

Besides those few comments, I really think this is a solid first chapter. You jumped right into the story and that was excellent. Your flow was nice and everything felt easy to follow!

You also do a great job with choosing a variety of words, which always keeps a story interesting.

Like I said earlier, it was also a very nice time frame to put them in and something different from the teen pregnancy stories that I see a lot of. I always thought that Ron would have been a bit slow with proposing, and in my head canon this is actually what gets him to do that final step, so it was fun to see him promise to stick by her.

I hope this review was helpful, please feel free to re-request any time!



Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing.
I've requested a beta on the forums I'm just waiting for somone to pick it up.
I'm glad you thought the characterisation was good and I'll go thorugh and edit it! :)

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