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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! I'm here for your requested review!

I don't even know where to start on this kind of story! I just want to fall into mush and hug Snilly for all it's worth! I've never thought of them as an actual couple or ever had a notion that it was anything more than unrequited love. But you made me believe ever single moment of this. There is very few stories that i read that make me believe the pairing so full heartedly as this. Usually they're written in such a way that the characters fit well enough together but this just felt like you couldn't take one without the other. I think the fact that you haven't read many Snilly's actually works in your favour here because you haven't been tainted by how other people see them. It makes this story so fresh and alive like new parchment.

Your take on Lily is absolutely mind jarring and absolutely lovely. There is something about her that i really just like because she's so real. She's definitely recognizable in a weird way. She's different from a lot of Lily's i've read and i think you really executed her well and made me believe her. I think there are many people who try to break the mary-sue Lily who's both fire-y and passionate yet booksmart and good. I think this is is the best rendition of that that i've ever read. I'm not sure why and i'm not sure i can express my awe with coherent words but I like this version of her, a lot.

Severus too, i've never read something that's ever captured his emotions for her so fully. I haven't read many Severus stories myself which may attribute to that but at the moment i'm not sure if i want to because i feel like you really captured something really beautiful here. He just seems like Severus. So utterly and inescapably him. I love how you didn't make them just end when he uttered that word but made it drag out across the rest of their lives. It wasn't the end of a chapter of that life but rather it kept coming back, poking wounds into both of them.

The flow and coherency is absolutely stunning. I loved the disjointed moments you showed and how they all seemed to revolve mostly around his encounters with Lily. There were times that there was some break-up with the flow and i was confused at where some of his thoughts were coming from and where they were going. It was mostly nothing serious and i feel like it actually added to the story. People's thoughts are usually disjointed to an extent and they can be all over the place and sometimes they don't make perfect sense. So the fact that there was sometimes (and trust me, it was few and far between) a bit of confusion it does not hinder your story at all.

I'll point out one of them although it's not a big deal, but it was with the paragraph were the doorbell rings and and he's asking about difference and what would have made a difference. I think this was an important moment and showed something really beautiful in parts of it but it was one of those that it didn't hit me as hard as the others and i felt a little more removed from them there. I think i was waiting for something to put them in a specific time or location or give them something a bit more concrete to hang onto.

Speaking of some time and space issues, i suppose another thing i noticed was that there were times i felt like there was a bit of switching within the text itself between past and present and i wasn't sure what time he was speaking of. However, as i write this i still feel like it wasn't that big of deal because it does show this disjointed emotional train wreck he's on. I'm sorry, that's not helpful at all because it doesn't give you a thought of whether it needs work or not because in the end, i still would think it's a beautifully written story no matter what.

Another thing and don't think this as any means of a deal breaker and it's probably because so many people have used this as a plot device that it's started to turn me off a little. It's the use of the death of James' parents that suddenly makes him a better person. Although i understand death can make a person want to be better or that it can change their perception of life, i just don't see it as something that can suddenly make James a viable option for Lily. I feel like there would have had do be something else she saw in him that made her fall for him. I think this also seemed a little off for me because it was so glazed over in this story that it made it seem a bit superficial to why she chose him. But maybe it just made her see him better. I don't know. I'm definitely not saying go into more detail of how it changed him though because it wouldn't suit this story and i'm not sure if i'd even suggest changing it at all. It just made me frown a bit but it's probably just my own preconceptions of the use of death rather than anything wrong with the story.

I'm sorry, i don't feel like this is a very helpful review, i just wanted to do some mindless keyboard smashing because i loved it so much. Honestly though, this piece was so lovely all the way through. You had me drooling at your writing and i'm quite jealous that you were able to express this story using such beautiful imagery and description. I'm a legit pool of mush here! Bah! Such beautiful work.

Author's Response: Hey there!
I loved this review. I know you said that you weren't much help, but you helped me a lot nonetheless. I've edited the reason Lily fell in love with James now, because you're right. I never gave it much thought before, but now that I think about it that IS how many people think it happens. I think I was more focused on Lily's aspect of it; that she had lost a father. But I've changed it now and I actually think it's better this way. (James wants to change the world with her). As soon as I changed it, it just kind of fit into her characterization as a fierce girl, wanting to do a difference. I've been looking at the other part too, and I've tweaked it a bit, plus some new stuff just came out and it was added to the story - that's just how it always work out whenever I edit my stories...

I am so, so happy you liked my characterization of the two. I really wanted Lily to be strong-willed, fierce and loyal. But I've just had enough of her goodie-two-shoes image? That was me breaking that image, in case you didn't notice :p I also don't believe you just stop caring for your best friend/the person who showed you the world you belong to. I don't believe she would be able to let go of that connection.

So this review was absolutely a help, I'm really happy you liked it. And I'm happy it was a breath of fresh air to all the other Snilly stories out there. Thank you so much for reviewing and for those kind words.


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