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Review:SiriuslyPeeved says:
Regulus is nearly a blank slate in canon and I love how you have developed him in this story -- Kreacher as well. Regulus is just so young-- though when I think about it he's the same age as Harry in the final battle.

The literary allusions are all well used and make sense to me as a framework and an insight into Regulus's character. Regulus's need for a hero, to be part of an epic story, is just heartbreaking in this piece.

The only suggestion I have grammar-wise is that you might want to take another look at the passive voice in the first third or so, and see whether you can trim back on its use. I think I see what you are after, in trying to establish a background for Regulus -- maybe I pick on passive voice too much, but it does remove some of the immediacy for me as a reader.

Loved this, it made me very emotional! Excellent work, thank you for requesting :)

Author's Response: Thank you for being able to come by! I really appreciate your feedback - it led me to go through the story with careful attention to the verbs, and removing many of the "had"s made a difference to the flow. By using them, I thought I could better distinguish between past and present in the narrative, but it didn't end up working - that kind of past tense is too clunky, especially when overused. This story might have worked better in the present tense, now that I think of it, but for now, I think I've got it right where it's supposed to be. :)

It's wonderful to hear that you liked Regulus's development in this story. You've got it in a nutshell that that the allusions frame his character - he lives through their stories because he sees himself as inadequate, only to discover (sadly too late) that he's just as much a hero as they.

Regulus may be the same age as Harry, but he's slightly less mature, the main difference between them being their upbringing. However terrible the Blacks may have been, they seem to have spoiled Regulus - if we believe what we heard in the books - and that figures into his more childish ways of thinking.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! ^_^


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