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Review:academica says:
Hey Dan! I'm back again :)

I liked Harry's interaction with Esme. The emotion was a little soap-opera-ish, but I think you've set it up with their awkward interactions so far in the story and I could see the build-up clearly enough that the increase in intensity didn't seem too out of place or too sudden. Obviously things can come out like that when you hold feelings back for so long.

The entrance into the secret meeting was very interesting. I thought you got George's characterization spot-on, and I liked Molly's little trick with the psychiatric ward. Percy is acting a bit suspicious, though, isn't he? I also liked that you didn't dance around the subject of people not wanting to get into another war. That's how I would imagine a scenario like this to go down, and it's nice to see that variation in emotion here.

I think the trip to Beauxbatons was my favorite part of this chapter. I love Professor Turgeon and I liked how everything she did took Harry by surprise. I can see where Esme picked up her spunk; plus, I love the professor's idea of teaching students to explore their earliest memories. I'm very interested to see how Katerina became the infamous Lady Tenabra, and I sense that her sister will have some important details to provide. I also really liked the scene in Harry's childhood memory; I thought the emotion was perfect and the picture of him breaking down was truly bittersweet. Finishing it off with Turgeon's comment was just the icing on top of that cake. I think the only critique I have to offer there is the French accent; I noticed that you only seem to apply it to the h's. That makes sense, I think, but it almost interrupts the flow for me because the rest sounds 'normal.' If you could play it up a little more without going overboard, I might consider doing that in an edit.

Very nice, as always. Hope this is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi, Amanda!

Honestly, I struggled a lot writing Harry's interaction with Esme in this chapter. I did kind of feel that it was soap opera-ish and a little over the top, but I was also getting a lot of advice from my beta reader to build up the emotional turmoil between the two of them in order to make Esme's 40-year grudge seem more realistic. Someday...

I really, really enjoyed writing George's entrance, as well as most of the little details about the Order meeting. Percy is definitely acting a little off, but you'll find out why soon enough. Nobody wants to provoke another war at this point. Not that Dedalus would back away from one, mind you. ;)

I really spent a lot of time trying to imagine what Beauxbatons would be like. Based on the students that we see in Goblet of Fire, I came to the conclusion that it was a very different place from Hogwarts or Durmstrang. So I went with that. I like the idea that different schools focus on different types of magic. Hogwarts seems to specialize in very practical magic, Durmstrang in militaristic magic and the Dark Arts, and I decided that Beauxbatons would specialize more in the introspective aspects of magic like memories, Legilimency and Occlumency.

I definitely take your point on the accents. That was another difficult thing to figure out. Some readers have said that I'm over-doing it. Some don't think it's strong enough. Honestly, I would have liked to have peppered the story with actual French phrases, but I didn't feel like translating them all in author's notes. To me, that would have been even more distracting.

I'm glad you like this chapter. The pace gets faster and faster from here, so I'm very interested to find out what you think! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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