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Review:Cavell says:
I definitely don't read much Ron/Hermione - or any of the trio, admittedly - but even I know that this was a genuinely good start to what is turning out to be quite an interesting story! I didn't see too many mistakes, though there was some that I did spot:

the grandfather clock had not long chimed 11:00pm - I think this would be better phrased as something else. Maybe try: the grandfather clock having not long before chimed 11:00pm?

Kingsley is also spelled with an 'e' - don't forget that, love ;)

Oh, and it's 'vaguely', not 'vaugly' - this is such a good story and I don't want it to be marred by little mistakes. Oh, and by Victoria do you mean Victoire, Bill and Fleur's daughter? I was kind of confused by that, I'm afraid to admit.

I found it really interesting that Ron and Hermione have only been dating for a month - definitely a twist to the average story, but a good one nonetheless. I'm actually wondering why you had it that way, but I know you have a good reason for it which I can't wait to hear. I also noticed that Ron wasn't an Auror - so many twists in this story, but you definitely manage to pull it off - and your reason was actually very reasonable, so well done!

I'm so used to pregnant people as teens, still Hogwarts-age, so it was definitely nice that Ron and Hermione actually had jobs and were out of school. It just makes it easier for everyone, so I'm definitely glad you had it that way. The flow is good - sometimes it's a bit choppy, but that's mostly unnoticeable so don't worry about it. Ron and Hermione are also perfectly canon and true to themselves, so well done about that!

All in all, this was a good introduction to the story and it was definitely a nice read and a good deviation from the usual. Thanks so much for requesting, and good luck with the rest of the story, love! If you fix everything I mentioned up above, this chapter would be even better :D


Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! :)
I'll go through and edit the mistakes and yeah, I meant Bill and Fleurs daughter.
I'm glad you liked it though and thanks again for reviewing! :)

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