|Review:||Elphaba and Boyfriends says:|
Hi Elphaba here again!
There were quite a few things that I really liked about this chapter. One is your description of the privacy wards that Hermione set up around her and Ron's home. The concept is very cool, and definitely sounds like something Hermione would be responsible for. I love that the key to get through them is, "There's no place like home."
I also really like the conversation between Ron and Hermione about their relationship. It seems realistic and I feel like I can understand both of their motivations. I especially like this line of Ron's:
"We're fighting like an old married couple! And, neither of us is very happy. What if there are people out there who could make us happier? I think time apart would be good."
And I love that you put in a little of Ron's trademark humor with this exchange:
"I think," she started, surprised that her voice came out strong, "I think you're right."
"Four words I rarely hear," Ron said with a sheepish smile.
That passage made ME smile. :)
There are a couple of things that I have questions about, as well.
One is the Apparition station that Hermione uses to apparate home. I didn't think that wizards had to go anywhere in particular to be able to apparate, but that they could apparate from anywhere (with exceptions like Hogwarts, which is under very strong magical security). It just confused me that she had to walk to a station to do it.
The other question I have is whether Kingsley Shacklebolt is minister of magic or not. I ask about Shacklebolt because it occurred to me that since he is friends with Hermione, then she could simply ask him to help her get a job within the Ministry. I can't imagine him refusing her a job!
Since there appears to be so much prejudice in the ministry against muggleborns, I wonder if there is a full-blown conspiracy to keep them out? Like, maybe Hermione tried to contact Kingsley, and some of his own ministry people blocked it? If he isn't minister in this story, and a less progressive person were in office, then that would also explain Hermione's troubles.
Finally, I'm intrigued by Draco Malfoy's mysterious job! The final paragraph of the chapter has me wondering just is it that he works for? It's always good to leave people wanting to read more!
Author's Response: I wanted to emphasize the fact that after the war, Hermione wanted to settle down. She really loved the idea of creating a beautiful home with Ron, and she had already envisioned exactly how her life would go. Of course, when one thing after another doesn't work out, her carefully laid (and somewhat naive) plans fall apart.
The scene with Ron and Hermione wasn't originally in my plans for this chapter, but I just found myself writing it. I feel like the scenes you don't plan out and that sort flow naturally are usually much better than the carefully diagrammed ones. Thanks!
Apparition station? Did I put that in that chapter? Uh oh. Heh, heh. I think I've always imagine Apparition stations in areas where there is controlled Apparition, like Hogsmeade outside Hogwarts or Diagon Alley. It seems to make sense that highly populated areas would be warded against Apparition, but now that I think about it, that doesn't fit with my story at all. I'm going to have to go back and change that. Thanks for noticing that!
Kingsley IS minister. :) In fact, he's mentioned in chapter 5, and he makes his first appearance in chapter 7, which I haven't posted yet. I guess I assumed that Hermione didn't know Kingsley that well.They fought together for the Order, but I never saw them as friends. If she did owl Kingsley, he couldn't do much, unfortunately. I don't want to give too much away, though. Maybe I'll add that she did owl Kingsley but didn't hear back.
I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far! I'm also happy you picked up on the possibility of a conspiracy. Your review was extremely helpful, and you picked up on a lot of things I didn't even think about. Thank you!