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Review:The Last Marauder says:
Hi there, again here from the Review Tag in the Gryffindor Common Room.

I must say that your story summary had me intrigued. I just loved the concept you came up with, that The Killing Curse just sent you to the other side of the veil, and that the words were pronounced wrong, so when the person that killed you was killed, you could come back - a very unique and creative idea that - well done.

I just spotted a typo:
"The spell was said many times. But only the times was it said correctly." - this sentence doesn't make sense, do you mean "But only THREE times was it said correctly"?

Also, this sentence is slightly problematic, mostly because this story is in the third-person, and suddenly switches to the first person and back to the third person:

"I hope for the sake of the world that no one ever says the Killing Curse, or the curse that sent you away, ever again" - who is the "I" here?

Then the only constructive criticism I can think of is that I think you should establish the narrator a little bit more. He/She should add a little more descriptions to the deaths of each of the characters. Some were two or three sentences long, I think you should add more description to it (maybe set the scene or describe them as they fall or something), and that will really hit home how tragic their deaths were.

Anyway, as I said, this has a good idea behind it. It's great for all us Potterheads who still can't deal with the fact that certain characters died! (Lupin and Tonks's deaths still kill me every time, and I just don't want to believe that they are gone!!).

Anyway, another interesting read, well done :-)

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the lovely review!

I honestly wrote this because I needed a list of the good people who died. Not even jokeing. I just wrote down who died and how they died (if known, if not I assumed it was the killing curse). I just put it in story-form because a) I hate the fact that the marauders and Lily are dead and b) because I felt like I needed to write something. But I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for pointing out the THREE, I didn't really look this over before posting it, but I'll fix that. And the 'I', well that was a slight problem but I think that can be fixed easily. Thank you for pointing it out to me :D

Now that it's up, I'll probably go in and flesh it out a bit. At first, I just wanted it to be short, and canon. I changed Sirius's death to the movie version so that he could come back (I LOVE SIRIUS!! SHAYRIUS FOR LIFE) and a few other people also came back, but now I think a little less canon is okay since it goes almost completely against canon anyway.

Again, thanks for reding and reviewing!

Shay_Gryff :D


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