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Review:Cassie Whitmann says:
Read up to this point so far, and I have to say this is quite an interesting story! I love how you've progressed with the language and grammar even, not only reflecting his age in actions and emotions, but in the physical writing itself- Brilliant!

Very cleverly written, I must say, and your characters, I would say are quite true to cannon. I did see a couple of mistakes throughout the chapters I've read so far (unfortunately I forgot to keep which chapters they're from):

'Then, he stopped breathing together.'

Should be 'altogether'.

'letting them ago and pulling'

In reference to his father's robes, but should be 'go' rather than 'ago'.

'just ran through the words screaming swear words'

The first 'words' should be 'woods', though running through words might be quite an interesting adventure! ;) haha!

as good a chance of attending that school

Is typically written 'as good OF chance' but by common annunciation, is made into 'a'. Might be something you contemplate changing, but as I believe it was spoken it could probably be kept as is.

Great story! And I do plan on coming back to read the rest, but I need a bit of a break now! lol

Author's Response: Hi there! Firstly fair play for reading this far into the story. Usually in the review tag, people just read and review one chapter, so fair play!

I'm glad you liked the idea of the physical writing expressing Remus's age. I wrote it normally at first, but it didn't quite achieve the effect I wanted it to, so I changed it, and I really like it as it is now, so I'm glad you do too. :)

Sorry about all the typos, I never can spot them all no matter how many times I read over it! I've changed them all, except the last one, just because it's a spoken line and I think it sounds better the way it is (plus the way it is is the way I say it myself)

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. If you do indeed come back to read the rest, I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks again,

TLM



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