So my last review was very short so I have decided to make this one longer, so here it goes:
I love Hollie, Eve, and Dom's friendship. Most people just decide that because someone is a Slytherin they are evil but these girls are just awesome and funny. Another stereotype of Slytherin is that they have no feelings but these three girl are basically running a dating service, so there job is feelings, plus their invention involved a lot of feelings.
I actually can't wait to see Savannah again, if you bring her back later on. I think she could be the perfect villain. She has a reason to hate Hollie, because she is close to James, and she seems like, well the stereotypical Slytherin.
Fred is hilarious. I don't even know how to describe him besides funny. He is amazing, and a great comic relief. Fred and James seem to have the perfect cousin relationship, where they are cousins as well as best friends.
I have to say, I think Dom's cat also stole my heart. I love how Thaggie seems to love everyone except for Hollie. Pure comedy, unless you have other reasons for Thaggie not liking Hollie.
I don't even know where to begin with Hollie and James' relationship. Did they not talk much before this story started? It said they even though they just started hanging out it felt like they knew each other forever. I think it is really funny watching Hollie try to set James up with Annie, I think you should prolong that for awhile just because I want to know what James reaction would be if he found out that Hollie was trying to set him up with someone.
Also Hollie just seems perfect for James which makes it even more funny that she is trying to set him up with someone else. I can see that since they just met, she does not have any feelings beside friendship (is that a type of feeling?) for him, but she is still a matchmaker. She should be able to see the simaliarities between the two of them.
James seems like a much more complex character than he first let's on. He freaked out when with his broom and he also said that he does not like quidditch. It is interesting seeing a different type of character from James. Most people make him dumb and obsessed with Quidditch but this James is much different.
He is also not the normal teenage guy from what he told Hollie when he was talking about what he looks for in a potential girlfriend. Also speaking of that scene, I love how Hollie fell out of the ceiling and on top of scorpius and albus. She is really funny when she is thrown into and awkward situation and has to improvise. I hope there are some awkward situations for Hollie in the future.
I get the feeling that there is a little Eve/Fred action. can you let me know if I am right or totally off?
Anyway this is the longest review I have ever written so in conclusion please update soon. I will give you a piece of candy if you do. Also the rating from me is obviously a 10/10. Or more zeros on the first one...
Author's Response: Wow! his was the most amazingr eview, thank you so much! I swear I'll update as soon as possible, but I have quite a lot of unexpected stuff on my plate, including a grandparent who's just had a heart attack :/ But anyway, onto this wonderful review!!
I wanted the girls to be different representations of Slytherins; they don't possess the most obvious of their house's traits, more the subtler ones. So they're not mean and sly and evil- they're just a little too intense sometimes, a bit too pushy, used to getting their own way almost. Anyway, you'll definitely find out more later on. Oh, and Savannah is definitely coming back soon! She has a big part to play yet. :)
The Fred & James best friends and cousins relationship has been used quite a lot, but I wanted to write it myself because I thought that they /would/ be very close. I'm glad you like it! Yep, Fred's hilarious :D
Hollie and James had a very platonic relationship before she partnered with him in potions for a change. They knew each other, both being really popular in teh school, but not intimately at all. I know it's very clear to readers that Hollie and James should get together, from Hollie's point of view she isn't looking to set /herself/ up, just her friend james. She hasn't put two and two together!
I was definitely aiming for James to be quite complex, and not a cliche :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH. You're my hero.