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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, this is Beeezie, (finally) here with your review! :)

As if I could not love this story more, you had to toss Peter Pan into the mix as well. Hamlet + Peter Pan + HP? There is nothing better. (I would have sworn that there was no way to really make that work before reading this, but I clearly would have been wrong.)

A couple really minor mechanical things:

In Scene I, in the first paragraph, Sirius is in awe of their magic because it saved him from "certain torture." That came off feeling a little odd to me - I mean, it was pretty clear that the men were planning to kill Sirius, so why wouldn't he just say that?

Similarly, a little later on in the scene, there's a mention of Sirius "huffing quietly" but keeping his mouth shut. It just felt a little awkward as a description.

That aside, though, this was another great chapter. I love your characterisation of the Marauders - from the very beginning, I felt like you gave each boy his own distinct personality, and I also felt like that personality stayed true to canon. I've said this before, I'm sure, but that's one of the things I really love about this story - it's the very best of what AU is for me. You've truly taken the characters and transplanted them into a weird, Hamlet-meets-Peter-Pan type world, and it's just absolutely brilliant.

James was perfect, IMO. There was an edge to him that I liked. He wasn't nasty or malicious, exactly, but he definitely had a rough streak. He's clearly capable of compassion, whatever he says to Remus - by the end, he's defending Sirius when Peter advocates killing him - but it took awhile to get there. He did leave Sirius outside all night with no socks. I guess I ended up getting the feeling that he was capable of loyalty and friendship, but that he was less inclined to be sympathetic. If that makes sense. At any rate, I thought that your portrayal of James was terrific - I can easily imagine a James that didn't grow up in relative luxury and doting parents turning out this way.

I also really liked your portrayal of Peter. He was a little more tentative and cautious than James or Remus, and I loved the mention of his nose twitching - it absolutely put me in mind of a rat, which is perfect for Peter. I also liked that you gave him a little more of a villainous streak than I often see in young Peter - I feel like he's often just shown as being a little pathetic, but you clearly gave him a nasty edge without making him a terrible person. It's a thin line to walk, especially given some of the cliches surrounding Peter - but you walked it well.

I found what you did with Remus to be very interesting as well. He's definitely one of the Marauders we get to know best in the books - probably even the best, since Sirius was really only around for two books. Despite this, I always felt that he was also the Marauder whose past was the biggest mystery - nobody really talked about Remus as a child or a teenager, so IMO, writers can take him in a lot of different directions without being "wrong." I liked the direction you took - Remus was more sympathetic and compassionate than the other two boys, but not to such an extent that it was unrealistic.

The way you portrayed the boys' interactions was also excellent. It came across as quite realistic to me - the constant teasing fit their age, and I liked that Sirius eventually recognised that the teasing wasn't actually a bad thing. I did think that you could have included a bit more about his thought process as he got to that point, though - given how isolated I imagine he's been growing up, I would have liked to see how he shifted his perspective. I think that you did an excellent job depicting his adjustment to the Marauders' world from his own in general - it was just that one little bit that I thought could have used a little something extra.

I was torn about whether I wanted to see more about why the Marauders accepted him fairly quickly. In some ways, I thought that the fact that you didn't go into a lot of detail fit Sirius and his frame of mind - I don't get the feeling that he's really thinking analytically right now. At the same time, I did feel like I would have liked to see more hints of where the shift came from, especially from Peter. I suspect you get into that more in later chapters, at any rate, but I just would have liked to see a little more of it here.

The interactions between the boys did make up the majority of the chapter, but I do want to mention scenes II and IV as well. Their inclusion really helped the chapter fit together - they were both short, but they helped keep part of the focus of the story on the murder and the succession, which stopped me from getting completely swept up in Sirius's part of the story. For me, that was a good thing - it kept the overarching plot from being swept away by Sirius's situation.

On the whole, this was really another excellent chapter. Please feel free to rerequest when I have free spots, and I'm sorry it took me so long!

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