Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:ScorpiusRose17 says:
Hi there!

I am finally here with your review! I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get to. Life has been crazy. Anyways, I also wanted to let you know that I am going to review chapter 2 aswell. Alright...onto the review...

I love the plot line so far. It's unique and it takes a look into the life that Teddy didn't get the chance to know...only with a slight twist.

I really like the way that you have characterized Teddy. He has a great combination of both of his parents personalities. Like when he sneeks into the Ministry...I could picture Tonks and leaving him to go and fight in the war.

This chapter is short, but I feel that it sort of packs a punch because you get that sense of dread when he is cornered. It works well, because of that jumping right into the action feel. It's not drawn out.

Your grammar is fine in this chapter. It flows smoothly throughout and I didn't feel like I was going back and forth. The one thing that I did notice as a confusing sentence... it could just be me though...

"Teddy had gotten ahold of some of Remus', and his, family in order to find out the exact day anything strange happened."

I can't exactly explain why this sentence seems confusing, but I thought that I would point out which one did make me confused.

Anyways... keep up the awesome writing! I look forward to reading more! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Hey! And I don't mind. :D Sometimes life calls!

Woo! I'm ecstatic you think the plot is unique so far!

I was quite worried about Teddy's character so I'm glad you thought he was characterized well :D

I was actually aiming for this to be short with short chapters but I'm glad it worked out to my advantage in this chapter :D

*Phew* I think I'm improving! xD and that sentence... Is a bit odd, it could be the comma. Basically Teddy found Remus' old family and Teddy went and looked for his family to find out when Remus was bit. Maybe I should re-word it or that ", and his," out.

Thank you! :D

Mike.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 762
Submit Report: