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Review:justonemorefic says:
I haven't read anything on Rose for a while :) The events are described quite nicely, very sweeping and very romantic, a bit like a slo-mo montage, heh xD

I feel like a lot of her emotions are being told to me, rather than shown - things like how Rose is good at hiding her emotions. It might be a better idea to describe some incidents in her life, to give me more of a picture in my head of what's gone on in her life. Even describing the past will help describe the present, kind of like a backstory, and it also sets a mood. Subtlety can go a long way.

She seems very concerned with her relationship status, and it might be good to show why as well, to make it easier to understand where she's coming from, because she is still quite young! (Maybe it's just her envious eye talking. It is quite easy to get lost comparing oneself to others, tis true, and terrible when it gets out of control).

Hope that helps a bit! :)

Author's Response: thank you so much for the review! I am thinking about going back into this oneshot and adding in more information and actually writing another oneshot to go along with this that would be from his pov so that the reader can get the full story. I will look into these ideas though when/if I get around to fixing the story. Thank you again for reading and reviewing and I'm glad you liked it!


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