Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Moondanser83 says:
What a cute moment at The Borrow. It made me giggle thinking about all the Weasley children being so young.
There were a few things I noticed though.
In the begining you used "was sat" a couple times. I don't know where it stands gramaticly, but to me it sounds awkward.. like it should be "sitting" instead of "sat" in both cases. Also in the line:
"A second later to cheeky faces..."
Should be two instead of to.
My only other thing is when you give the time later on in the story I found the number distracting. In most cases it's best to write the numbers out, or use something like - "just after three o'clock to be precise" and the second time the time is mentioned it just seems a little repetitive... so maybe something like "it was still unreasonably early after all..."

All in all it was a very cute story thought... and for some reason it makes me think that Ron had a rather severe cowlick as a child.. LOL

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing! :)
Thanks for the CC, I'll take it into account when I edit the story.
I'm glad you liked it and thanks again for reviewing!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 208
Submit Report: