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Review:StormThief17 says:
Hi, StormThief here with your review :)

Since this is the first chapter, I can't say much about the plot or characterization, but I can say that your writing is pretty impressive. It really just draws you in with all the images you use to convey Ariana's emotions. This is a great example: "I could imagine an engorged heart buried underneath the surface, throbbing as its veins turned black, spilling an inky substance into the white earth up into the grass. The darkness within me would one day poison this entire world, cracking its immaculate surface until the souls of the dead fell through the chasms." It really gives me such a strong picture of what Ariana is thinking and feeling. I didn't pick up on any obvious mistakes, so good job on that! As I review more, I should be able to say more about flow and chracterization. So far, so good!

Author's Response: Hi StormThief :)

It was so important for me to get her emotions right - it's very hard not to go overboard on description heavy pieces so I wanted to get the balance right. Her thoughts and emotions tend to be expressed through her reactions with nature and I really love putting in all the imagery that helps me put across how she is feeling.

Thank you so much for the review :)


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