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Review:Broken Butterfly says:
I do not think that Astoria's thoughts take away from the story at all. In fact I think that it adds to them. Furthermore, the only problem with you focusing solely on her thoughts is the third person your story is written in. I recommend trying first person and seeing how it turns out.

Author's Response: Firstly, thanks for reviewing!
I've been a bit worried about overloading the reader with Astoria's thoughts and detracting from the enjoyment a reader might get from the way I'm telling the story.
As to POV - I've been worried about this too! I initially started the story in first person but as I got to the the POV of my OCs I was writing in third. I couldn't get into writing in first because they were just such small snippets. I'm writing during the years that JKR hasn't really fleshed out with canon characters, and I felt like I needed some consistency in the POV - since there's so many unfamiliar characters and my plot is about to get quite involved - and hence the third person :-)
My hope is that as the story goes on, the POV will feel like a pair of comfy shoes (and hopefully make some sense to the reader!) If not, I will have a long re-write ahead of me.
Thank you again for reviewing :-)

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