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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your requested review :) I'll just go through the things you mentioned as areas of concern, and I hope it helps!

Characterization: I think you've done a really awesome job capturing the most important parts of Narcissa's character. The first few paragraphs were a great way to show where her priorities truly lie. She isn't a die-hard Death Eater like Lucius; her main focus is always on her family. One part that was really striking to me is that she used the Killing Curse without a moment's hesitation, not even caring who she hit. It didn't matter, because anyone who stood between her and Draco was a threat. It was a great way of showing the lengths she'll go to in order to protect her son. I thought it was really well done :)

Her characterization remained strong throughout the rest of the story, too. Her boggart made perfect sense, and I loved how she was so gentle with baby Draco. She's the picture of a devoted mother, which is Narcissa's defining trait in the books, I think. You've done a great job with her!

Plot: The first half of this is very fast-paced and action-packed, which was so much fun to read. I loved the obstacles Narcissa placed to protect Draco; they were very creative, and I literally found myself on the edge of my seat as she raced through them to get to her son. You've got a real thrill ride here! The abrupt change of pace near the end gave me whiplash for a minute there; you've got all this action, and then it all drops off all of a sudden when she gets to Draco. But the sweet moment between mother and son was very well-written, so I got back into it pretty quickly :)

Flow: I think you're fine in this area. Like I said earlier, there could be a smoother transition between the action of the obstacles and the calm of Draco's room, but that's a nit-picky thing. I had to work to find concrit for this one!

Emotional intensity: For me, the strongest emotion came during the boggart scene. You did a great job describing Narcissa's reaction to the sight (physically and emotionally), and I was completely pulled in. You delve into Narcissa's thoughts and emotions throughout the whole piece, but that part stood out to me as the most intense.

Thanks for requesting! I enjoyed this a lot, and I think you did a great job with this challenge. Keep up the good work! :)


Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Your comments mean a lot to me. I'll look into everything you mentioned. Thanks!

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