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Review:academica says:
Hi Zayne! I'm here with another requested review :)

Ooh, your Molly's got a touch of psychosis, or maybe even schizophrenia - is that right? Very interesting! I like that she's falling apart little by little instead of just having a massive psychotic break in Chapter 2. It seems to be building so that when she finally does break, when the voices finally become too loud and her paranoia becomes too overwhelming, the effect will be frightening.

I like James, too, what little I've seen of him here. He seems appropriately confident and casual but not the over-the-top prankster that I see a little too often for my taste. He's, you know, adultish :)

The description here is nice, particularly in terms of how you discuss Molly's thought patterns and her wild fantasies that pull her away from the real world. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about this being more character-driven than plot-driven. I'm a firm believer that it's okay to have a story without a lot of "action," being an author who often writes them. The way you've set it up, this is going to be about Molly's personal journey out of whatever darkness she's experiencing, and I think that's plenty interesting. Hopefully everyone else does, too! I also think the flow here is fine - the chapter length is good, and I like the way that Molly's disjointed feelings drive the chapter along haphazardly.

I don't have much critique here, I'm afraid - if my diagnosis is wrong, feel free to let me know so I can go bury myself in a hole (kidding, kidding). I at least hope this review is a pleasant find for you :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Oh days!! This is a pleasant review to read. It makes me squee a bit inside.

Yes, your diagnosis is right, what a good little psychologist you are :D. I wanted to check to see if it was even alluding to something like that as i've got some reviews thinking that she'll come to realize the death soon or she'll pull out soon. I though that maybe it just wasn't clear that she was going to face some tough stuff before then.

Anyway, i agree, i really don't like when fics present mental illnesses as an overnight surprise or something you open for Christmas. It's suddenly just there. It's more interesting to see the slow fade of the person as they fall into that. I'm going to try my best to portray it, but i hope you won't mind following this a bit as it's more your expertise.

Yah! You like James! He's not such a prankster here and isn't too over the top confident arrogant and basically a mini Sirius/James. At least, i'll attempt that because even though that is his namesakes he's still Harry's son.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!! I really appreciate all your lovely words and compliments!!


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