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Review:RosieQueen says:
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)

First off, the fact that the main character is Ignotus Peverell really intrigues me. I have never, ever read a story about the three brothers. So I find this really refreshing, and it's great that you're trying to write something that hasn't really been done before.

I really enjoyed the detail! It felt as if you painted a picture with words, and that's great. It made the story feel real.

I think this was a great first chapter because it doesn't tell the reader everything that's going on, and that keeps the reader interested.

I found Ignotus' characterization wonderful. He seems like a smart kid, and probably more mature than kids his age. I'll just have to warn you not to go too far with him acting mature, or else he'll seem weird if he acts too grown up. But overall, his character seems pretty solid and easy to understand.

This was a great start to your story, and it was very well-written and thought out. The only thing I would recommend adding/removing a few commas, since there are a few misplaced commas and they kind of ruin the flow. (Not too hard to fix, they're easy to spot.) But overall, this was great. :)


Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging review!

What mostly makes me happy is that you think the details were alright because description has always been my downfall, and I've been working hard to change that! :D

Also, I am trying my best to be cautious with those kids in the next few chapters and making sure that they're not overly mature.

I suppose that, yes, I do abuse commas... Thank you for pointing that out; I'll try to look over this and remove all the extra commas!

Again, thank you so much! :D


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