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Review:TenthWeasley says:
Hello -- dropping by from the review tag with a review for you! :)

For your first story, this really was a very well-written one-shot! I love the subjects you chose, too; not a lot of people write about Marlene (or Travers, for that matter) and I like reading a bit about the lesser-known characters of Hogwarts. I love the connection between the two of them, though, with his having killed her later on in the war. That adds a bit of a layer to this story, a meaning beneath the words, and I love it when an author puts more into their writing than just what's on the surface!

You really did write very well, and there's not a lot I can fault here. It's a short but powerful piece; you got straight to the point, and I think you explained Marlene's motivations in a nice, succinct fashion. The only thing that slightly messed me up was the tenses -- sometimes you'd move from past into present tense, and then back again, like below:

She didnít hear him but she knew what he's said. -- Just changing "he's" to "he" in this would fix that, and really, it's not a HUGE mistake. And those bits really were the only parts I'd suggest editing in this! Good work with this story, especially for your first!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for taking time to read this and review it ( even though it is from the review tag)

Well I'm a huge minor characters and minor pairings lover. They are far more interesting because we know so little about them. That meaning was exactly what I was going for otherwise this would be just a normal teenager 'forbidden love' relationship. that was the reason I chose this pairing.

Ah yes I have a bit of a problem with tenses unfortunately ( I think it's because I'm not a native speaker)

Thank you for pointing that out I will change it immediately. Thank you once again!


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