Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Moonyxluna says:
Hi! I'm here with another review for you :)

Alright, so we talked about the translations last chapter so I'm not going to talk about that again but I wanted to say I really do like how you include the English translation right after. I think it just works well with the flow and it shows how she'd rather speak in English, too :)

So, from the last chapter it really seems like her mother's opinion goes for the rest of the family, so I liked that that carried through to this chapter now that Estelle is being transferred to Hogwarts. I also thought it was neat how you used the prologue as sort of distant happy memory for her. I thought it was sweet in the context.

I really enjoyed her attitude towards the people of Hogwarts, and I loved how it shifted the second she actually realized it was Sirius. Normally, I'm not too big of a fan of blocks of text descriptions, but I think with the familiar tone it had it worked here. I suppose that's just something to keep an eye on; sometimes overly-describing someone can really disrupt the flow and it's better to include a few details, and add more in as they become important. Make sense?

Okay, so she doesn't get to be sorted? I think that's a little.. different. I'm not so sure about that.. I understand that the idea would be that she doesn't really want to be in Slytherin, she'd like to be with Sirius, but why not have the sorting hat 'see something special' in her and place her in Slytherin? I mean, if it's something that's going to go along with your plot later in the story than just ignore me, but it's something to think about keeping the magic consistent with the books. It is a difficult spot to figure out what to do with an exchange student, but I think it would keep things a little more.. Hogwarts if she was.

And then Regulus comes into the ending! And what an ending to keep the reader wanting more. I think you've done a great job with setting things up here, and taking the idea of an exchange student with a nice originality. I really would love to hear what happens next, do re-request! Keep up the lovely work.

-Julie

Author's Response: Hello again! :D

I've always enjoyed watching foreign movies with subtitles so I guess that's where I got the idea from :P I'm glad you like it!

I was trying to build up the moment they recognised each other and I just found that making them hate each other at first would be really sweet :P & yeah I know what you mean, I read it again and I'll definitely be fixing some parts!

Well, I'm trying to establish her as someone who's not perfect, and she definitely isn't. She has a lot of flaws that haven't emerged as of yet because she's still new, and the only reason she'd rather be in Gryffindor is because she's gotten to know the boys.

And keeping this story in the context of Hogwarts is a big goal for me! So I'll definitely be making it feel more Hogwartsy some other way, so don't worry about her being sorted because she definitely does belong in Slytherin, even though she doesn't seem that way yet.

I LOVE cliff-hangers so I was hoping this would be a massive one :P

I'd like to thank you for leaving this review!!! It means a lot to me when people review so attentively so I really appreciate it!! Thank you!!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 633
Submit Report: