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Review:Aiedail says:
Firstly, I have to say, I have always found it really refreshing about this story that amongst all the things that are adhering beautifully to archetype, Sirius is thrown in there and doesn't take up his role as what we imagine it was in canon, a co-ring-leader, if you will, with James. I like that you have him maintain his prince's sensibilities, as well, because I can imagine that in the excitement to get their relationships moving it could be tempting to have him get a bit dirty and then immediately become one of the group after they fight off a troll or something. Not that that's not a valid way to do itI just like that you're taking your time with building up the bromance. Because it is certainly great for your readers :D

(I wrote this review when I read the chapter the first time, but I've gone through and added in things addressing the specific concerns you had when you requested!)

I'm finding the easiest way to review this chapter--Act, rather--is to break it up by scene, because they're so drastically different in tone and content.

Scene I: I was a bit wary of Remus being so kind at first, and then you break out the line "are you deaf?" and I just totally fall in love with him, not only believe him! YOUR WAYS ARE MAGIC, I SWEAR. I also like how "are you ready?" comes immediately after. It's such a realistic scene, and what I love more about it is that Sirius doesn't reach to the slur, but Remus moves the conversation along anyway. That's how things happen in real life, but it's one of the strange, unpredictable things that's hard to think of and then write. So, well done, basically :D

"Are you wanted for murder?" So sensible, Sirius! And I love that Remus actually answers him. I can imagine James scoffing and scampering off.

I still feel that Remus is a bit mild at this point, but I trust you as a writer well enough to know that you've got something up your sleeve and I'm going to find out something about him that explains it.

WOW I'M A PROPHET. Literally two minutes after I write this I run into the scars and the fight. YOU ARE SO AWESOME. Right when I wanted it, you delivered the conflict. "I just want a friend." So precious. So Remus. MISSYYY ♥

Scene II: Already nodding in approval at your inclusion of Rosier. I absolutely am completely in awe at your ability to paint a scene. It's so rare in fic that I imagine exactly what the scene looks like, and when I'm reading back through this section again, it's not like you described every little thing or color or tone, but you have this overall voice and you know what to include--the appearance of the characters in this scene does so much to the rest of the room.

Scene III: Let me just say I'm breaking in some Doc Martens right now so I totally know how Sirius's feet must feel!

"I suppose it's better than death." LOVELY LITTLE SIRIUS. And this whole conversation he has with Remus is so cute :3 But considering their respective situations, it's also quite powerful. I love pow-wows in the forest--I may have written a story with that backdrop myself :)

"Took a nice little tumble into a bed of pansies." This. Bahaha Sirius, not even understanding how much of a contrast that offers to the stories that Remus could tell him about his own scars. There's something lovely about Sirius's naivete, and part of me is trusting Remus to take care of him.

"You are very lovely." OH MY GOD SIRIUS. HOW ADORBS. And I love, love, love the bit where Remus steals the jumper :3

Scene IV: I love Molly!! I think pairing her with Bellatrix's amorous adventures (just had to go there sorry) was a really smart contrast; we already know they're the ultimate foils.

And of course nobody is surprised by Molly's wisdom and insight. I'm glad that she's thinking about Sirius, too. Something tells me that when and if he makes it out of the forest alive he'll really be ready to fight for the throne, necessarily hardened.

And D: the last line of this scene really got to me, because I just know it's true and full of forewarning.


James is so--so--James here. I think you characterize him perfectly. He's to the point but not unfeeling, and it's clear why he's the leader of this little pack. And it's a hard idea, one we don't usually want to confront nowadays, but I think he does have the right idea. I think it's time for Sirius to harden up, so that he can eventually fight as an equal to Cygnus for the throne. And save poor Regulus ;(

Basically, this chapter didn't seem like a useless filler, though it was a filler: and I mean, we needed to see the character development and the subtle shifts in Sirius, and Mrs. Weasley. I am also really interested in seeing where you take Cissy's romance! Overall, I thought you maintained the tone and characterizations of earlier chapters effortlessly :) LOVED THIS.

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