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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, there! Thanks so much for doing your part to help Gryffindor take the cup! Here is your review.

I basically want to split my review into two parts: idea and execution. I think it's the best way to explain my thoughts on your story.

The underlying idea of this chapter is excellent. It makes all the sense in the world, and I feel like it's probably an under-appreciated aspect of Albus's character in most Next Gen tics. It can't be easy growing up as the child of the famous Harry Potter and his almost equally famous wife. Doubly difficult if you're shy. And the trifecta is the fact that you're a dead ringer for your father at the same age. I get every bit of Albus's existential crisis.

The sense of disaffection and resentment that he feels really resonates with me. It isn't anger directed at his father, per se, but rather at the entire world that can't see him as anybody else. You did a great job of creating that and building on it as the chapter moves on.

The execution of the plot, I think, could use a bit more work. I felt like a lot of the dialog sounded too mature for a 13-year-old. The essay, in particular, sounded like something that a high schooler would write, not a rising Third Year.

Overall, a nice start. I think with a bit of refinement, you have a really great idea here!

-- Dialog sounds too mature

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