Hi, there! Thanks so much for doing your part to help Gryffindor take the cup! Here is your review.
The start of this story was brilliant! I really don't know what else to say about it. Moody's thoughts on his career at the Ministry and the real reasons that he was forced to retire took so many things that I've turned over in my head many times and brought them out with an amazing focus and eloquence. I found myself starting at the screen, nodding my head in agreement as I read. Well stated and the gruff, blunt style of presentation sounded just like Moody.
"They were all fools, all naive, blind idiots; lulled into a false sense of security by the heroics of a one-year-old." - I know this line was in your summary, as well, but I just had to highlight it again. Simply brilliant!
Moody's synopsis of his career and his many talents was also gripping. I loved his explanation of his reluctance to use Unforgivable Curses. It made for such a stark contrast with the terrible things that Barty Crouch, Jr. does later on, after he's impersonated Moody. I'm starting to feel like this whole review is just me, parroting your best lines back at you, but I loved this one too much to leave it out: "He could see the connection between mundane things; how they all added up to something sinister that no one suspected. He saw everything and missed nothing. It was his blessing and his curse. "
I really love the paragraph about the way Moody reads newspapers and magazines. I think it gave the reader just enough of an idea that, alright, while this guy is the consummate Auror's Auror, he's also a little nuts. That was missing from the story up to that point, and I think it really added something.
Moody's thoughts about Remus were pitch-perfect. If ever there was a man who had a healthy appreciation for the important of fearing the right things, it's Moody.
Darn it, I just can't stop quoting my favorite lines: "But he thought Lupin knew, Moody had given him a super-sensitive, highly advanced, limited-edition Sneakoscope for his birthday and if that didnít say: youíre my friend, I care, Moody didnít know what did." - I'm at a loss for words. This is amazing.
You keep topping yourself! I was not ready for the Merlin conspiracy theory. That slayed me!
A few thoughts on your writing, just so this doesn't seem like a complete love-fest:
-- You have a fair number of very long sentences, with lots of clauses separated by commas. In some of those places, inserting a full stop and breaking up the sentences a bit would make things read more smoothly.
-- passed vs. past. I saw several places where you use the former with the latter was correct.
I am so glad I got a chance to read this. I think (hope) that people will keep me jumping as they review the podcasts and claim their rewards, but I really want to come back to this when I can!
Author's Response: Firstly, cheers for offering reviews to people who reviewed the podcasts, it was a great idea to give people that extra incentive.
I'm glad you liked this. It was originally written as a one-shot, but I thought it was far too long to be a one shot (nearly 8,000 words) so I had to split it into prologue and story, and I didn't know if people would go for it... so I am glad you liked it.
I had a lot of fun writing this if I am honest with you. Moody is my second favourite character and I just love his mind, he is a genius but he is also absolutely mental too, and that's why I love him. So I could do a bit mad with this fic, and come up with some pretty random and insane stuff, so I'm glad you liked certain lines, because I really liked them to, they just popped into my head and just seemed to fit.
I'm glad you liked the line about seeing everything being his blessing and his curse. I sort of stole that concept from Sherlock Holmes if I am honest with you. In fact I based a couple of Moody's paranoid, ingenius but insane traits on Holmes really. I just always saw a connection between the pair of them, so I went with that in this fic.
I'm glad you liked the stuff about Lupin. I did too. It was just nice to view Lupin through Moody's eyes so I had a lot of fun with that too, glad you liked the Sneakoscope present too, I liked that line as well, it's probably my favourite line in this story.
I'm also glad you liked the Merlin conspiracy, I thought that maybe it was a bit too much, you know, that I was treading into too insane or too mad territory, but people seem to like it, so I guess it's alright.
Cheers for the tips on the mechanics at the end. I'll definitely read over it and see if I can shorten some of the long sentences and I'll fix the passed/past thing as well - cheers for pointing that out because that's a mistake that Word can't pick up so it's hard to spot.
If you do indeed come back and read chapter two, I hope you liked it - it's all action, that's all there is, it's just a fight scene, so I hope you enjoy.
Thanks again for the review, and I now in turn will leave you a review on one of your stories, probably later this evening.