Hi, there! Thanks so much for doing your part to help Gryffindor take the cup! Here is your review.
Alright, let's get this right out in the open from the get-go. I've never seen Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. Given everything I know about you, this is probably a well-nigh unforgivable sin in your eyes. Nevertheless, you're going to have to either forgive me or have the Staff remove this review for being "sinfully unaware of the precise, underlying details which link this chapter to the greatest movie of all time which only a barbarian of sorely limited intellect would have failed to see in the theater and also own the deluxe Blu-ray edition with the theatrical trailers, cast and director interviews and all out-takes and bloopers." See, we're communicating! I feel better already.
Even though I haven't seen the movie, I find the premise of this incredibly interesting. I know what you're thinking. "Of course it's interesting! Just see the movie, idiot!" Now, now. That's not communicating, that's yelling inside your head. Just when I thought we were making progress here...
As I was saying, the premise is very, very interesting. So many diverse personalities in the Weasley clan, about to discover and be discovered by this relatively unknown entity. I thought the way that Lucy started to characterize the various boys by their eyes was actually an interesting beginning to how the different confrontations might play out. But I'm also getting ahead of myself.
Hugo's anxieties about Lily and the way that he shuts himself away in the Ravenclaw common room to deal with them started to give me some good ideas about our narrator. He seems a bit awkward, definitely somewhat overshadowed by his older, more outgoing cousins, and dependent, in a way, on his best friend Lily. In other words, just like my own headcanon Hugo. Uncanny...
The hours he spends in the common room were hilarious. He seems like the quintessential Ravenclaw, right down to doing his homework in advance. The way he completely overthinks the meeting that Teddy has called was cleverly done and reinforces most of what I've been thinking about him. Without Lily to talk him down, his anxieties run off with him.
"The strangest ideas are coming to mind right now including the fact that Clarica Devonly, who is sitting at the table next to mine, is beginning to look like she’d make a nice meal." - Brilliant!
I like the presence you've created for Teddy in this piece. As the elder member of this generation of the extended Weasley-Potter clan, he both commands and revels in the adoration of his younger peers. It's admirable, I guess, that he still sees it as his role to spearhead this noble effort to insure that Molly's new love interest is worthy. Also a bit sad that he would be, what, 22 or so in this story and he's still sneaking into the Room of Requirement. I find him mercurial almost to a fault.
I loved Hugo's inner debate on which of his cousins to save from Teddy's imaginary killing spree.
You've done a great job of taking the various Weasley/Potter cousins and beginning to develop their characters in various directions. Lucy, the insightful one. James, the slightly clueless mischief-maker. Louis, the devious one. Freddy, Mr. Smooth. Al, the bumbling but good and loyal friend. And Teddy, the ringleader with some sort of Peter Pan complex.
I liked the sense of formality surrounding the rules and the spirit of fair play. That really adds something, for me. It makes this all seem more serious and less silly, even though it's clearly silly inasmuch as I'm sure Killian's reaction will, at least at first, be along the lines of "what's wrong with you people?"
OK, see how well we communicated once you stopped yelling inside your head? Wasn't that great? Even without knowing a thing about the movie aside from what I've learned from your forums avatar, I have this new appreciation for a small aspect of what the movie might be about, assuming I've understood everything correctly and haven't missed any important details in your story. There you go yelling inside your head again...
Your writing was terrific in this. It all flowed very nicely and I couldn't find any typos or grammatical problems. I feel like I would like to read more of this story. We'll see how bad our fellow housemates kill my free time with their enthusiasm for reviewing podcasts! Until next time...
Author's Response: Alright, this was probably the most hilarious review I have ever received !! You definitly don't know me if you think I'd yell at you for something so trivial as not knowing a movie BUT, I would definitly pester you day and night about it though. Bringing you my copy of the movie and offereing you to take it for a couple days; dropping hints like "oh and remember when... oh no, you haven't seen the movie so you DON'T remember..."
Honestly, this story is based on the Scott Pilgrim story, meaning it's a similar storyline but honestly, it stops there. In the movie, the boy has to battle his new girlfriend's seven exes when here, it's the evil/possessive relatives. So you see, you don't need to know the movie to understand this story!!
Hugo is such a great character to me and I have absolutly no idea why! It is kind of strange that we have the same head canon about this character though; are you sure you aren't taking trips into my mind (I'm starting to wonder since you seem to hear me yell at you in my head as well...).
Teddy's presence isn't quite explainable but the Peter Pan complex is probably the best way to go. To me, Teddy has given himself a role in this family; he may not be a blood relative but he will make such an impression of these people that they will have no choice but to accept him as such. This is probably unconscious of him to act like that but he is thinking along those lines.
Your comment about my writting really touched me. I was really trying for something different in this story and I'm so glad it worked. You are one of the rare people that have pretty much read everything I wrote on here so what you think, see and understand of my writting means the world to me. Thanks again for taking a long time writting this and making me laugh out loud with your crazy comments!!