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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Wow this was intense. My heart is breaking for poor Dom, and Lorcan. I can tell that he was really loved by everyone.

This was a really well done chapter though. I thought it was excellent how you put it together. You gave me just enough information to sort of understand what was going on, but then you left me with a lot of questions. It was really a great set up for a story. I want to know who killed Lorcan.

Then you adde the stuff about Lysander and I can sort of tell where you're going with this story, but at the same time its definitely not the type of story that you just sort of know what's going to happen because its so cliche. No, this is very orginal.

I liked how you incorperated a lot of the Next Gen characters without making things seem crowded. You stuck in Albus in there, and Scorpius and Rose (by the by I love that they're just together, and that they seem to genuinely like/love each other), but most of everyone was just mentioned in passing, and you didn't talk about everyone. You mentioned them as they came up.

I did see one typo, when Dom is talking to Lysander she says : "I though you wouldnt remember" thought should have t on the end.

Other than that one little thing I thougt this was excellent. so keep up the good work, and I hope to see you around the BvB battle again sometime :)


Author's Response: You are too kind, really. I'm attempting to clear my unanswered reviews (I was on 76, now on 33) and it's so nice to go back and have a gander at all your kind words. I'm so grateful.

It's difficult to balance first chapters I think - you need a good balance of backstory, current action, character introduction etc., maybe even flashbacks. It's 100% more difficult with a murder mystery, because there's clues as well. So much stuff to consider. So thank you so much for your comments.

I love NextGen! There's so many characters you can exploit, pick and choose, kind of thing, but I'm glad you didn't think it was crowded. More people will be introduced in future chapters, you don't have to do it all at once :)

Thanks for noticing the typo! Will check it out! And thanks for reviewing!

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