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Review:marissa lily potter says:
Hey there, marissa lily potter here with the review you requested!

So I really like this chapter. It was cute, it was fun and it caught the reader's attention. I think you did a wonderful job starting it off and setting the storyline up. I like how you introduced Penny to the readers. She seems like a very relatable character which is nice, because then the readers really do feel a part of the story unlike someone who is too perfect which readers can't exactly relate to.

The flow of the story was okay. It could have been better because it did feel a little rushed and choppy, especially near the end where Penny and Tammy are making that agreement. It just felt a little rushed and you know, planned. I feel like this part at least should have been a little spontaneous because I don't think Penny had been thinking about it for a long time. That's how it feels though. Too planned.

I like your characters. I like how you've started off with one character that you've described really well but mentioned others in her life that will hopefully show up throughout the rest of the story. I'd like to see you develop your characters a little more. Give them some personality, background info and just generally more details into who they are. I really like Penny though from what I have read of her.

I think this was a wonderful first chapter and your story seems like it'll be an interesting and fun one. I wish you the best of luck with it! I really had fun reading it. I thought it was a great start and makes for a very interesting plotline! :)

-Marissa

Author's Response: Hi! thanks so much for taking the time to review it :)

Yeah, I've had problems with my OC characters cause they haven't had any flaws, so here's one where she has plenty :P

I tried to portray the problem of the Marauders as something that has bothered the two of them for a while now, but the agreement was supposed to be spontaneous, i'll read through it again and try to edit it though :)

Again, thank you so much for leaving this review! :D



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