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Review:Live Life Large says:
Hey! LiveLarge here with your requested review!

Interesting, captivating first chapter you've got here. Sirius and James felt very real, and I can certainly see Sirius being untrusting and anxious. I'm not quite sure about Lindsey, but that's only because this is chapter one and she's an OC; she seems pretty believable so far.

That said, there were a couple of things that I wanted to point out:

-"It was a scream that woke me... Even without the scream, I had been awake."
You sort of contradict yourself here, saying that the scream woke him but that he had been awake anyway. You may want to take another look at this sentence to figure out what you're trying to say.

I'm not entirely sure I can buy Sirius's thoughts about Lindsey. Personally, I think trust and wanting to protect another person, the way Sirius seems to feel about Lindsey, go hand-in-hand.

Trusting someone is knowing that they're going to be there for you and you can always count on them, and it is clearly said that Sirius doesn't trust people. Being protective of someone is wanting to be there for them and keep them from getting hurt, which is certainly the vibe we get from Sirius. Alone, either of these things are fine, but together they just don't sit right with me. Not a big deal, just a little something you might want to consider if you revise this chapter.

Also, is there some sort of one-sided hate going on, or is she just on edge because of her dream? I didn't quite get that part.

Overall great chapter you've got here. It's interesting, it's captivating, and hey! it's even got Sirius! Nice job, LS(;

Thank you for requesting and feel free to come back if you found this helpful.


Author's Response: Thank you for this thoughtful review! :) Sirius is a pretty complicated person. I tend to disagree, you don't necessarily have to trust or even like someone to want them safe. Also, Sirius thinks a lot things that might not really be true. He doesn't know himself very well. :) Thank you again for the review! You're amazing.

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