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Review:Jchrissy says:
Wow!! This was a really exciting first chapter!! I love that you didn't skip anything from the sorting hat to the fact that the giant squid liked to swim along side the boats.

I really love your OC so far and I think it's so much fun you've got the four of them in different houses. Nat seems realistic and relatable, and her nervousness was completely perfect. I'm curious as to her and her mothers relationship after you mentioned that her mother was showing obvious affection and it seemed rare..

This is one of my very favorite ways for a story to start. There's so much that could happen and the feeling of being 'back' at Hogwarts is one of my favorites.

Your sorting hat song was so creative, love it!

I think the only thing is suggest is to up the imagery :). Really make me see what Nat does. This is my hardest thing, I feel like I'm constantly working on it.

Great start!


Author's Response: Really? It makes my heart jump to hear you say that, because may I just say, you have incredibly exciting first chapters, yourself! :) The temptation to skip everything was overwhelming, but I'm glad I didn't and that you liked it *hugs* OCs are fun to write, I admit, and Nat is surprisingly easy - though, heads up, Jami, it's not always going to be from her eyes. We'll have to switch between the quartet, so you're the first I said that to!

The Sorting Hat song was a pain to write out, but it was so much fun and sites which give you rhymes when you type in a word were really helpful :p Most people don't have songs in their Sorting Hat scenes, but I wanted one so I'm pretty overjoyed you liked it!

Imagery and description is one of my weaker points, so I'll definitely pay more attention to that as the story goes on, so thanks for pointing it out! Oh, and personally, I think your imagery is lovely ;) Thanks for reviewing, Jami, I'm not kidding when I say it means the world to me :D


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