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Review:adluvshp says:
AditiDraco95 here with your requested review.

Before I get down to the mechanics, I have to say this is a very well written piece. I was really sucked into the story while reading it. Your descriptions and such are very prominent and the entire chapter is written in a very chilling manner which is quite apt for your setting and plot. Good work!

As for Characterization, I think you have pretty much crafted your character very well. I loved reading your portrayal of Regulus. His thoughts show an insight into him the way I imagined him to be. Sirius' letter was a nice addition to the fic too, it showed a snippet into the relationship of the two brothers. Kreacher's characterization is spot-on as well. All in all, I think you have the characterization well in the bag =)

As for plot development, again I don't think any critique is needed. You have got it quite well. I can see your plot going in a good direction, it is interesting enough xD The pace of this chapter was moderate, and if you maintain this pace, I think you'll be fine. Your plot has a vast number of possibilities, make sure you explore them well!

As long as your write the way you have written this chapter, I think you will have your readers' interest occupied as well =)

As for dialogue, there was not much in this chapter (since it was the prologue anyway) but from what I read, again no critique needed. I only found Voldemort's dialogue in calling Regulus 'young one' a little odd. I feel that is not the way Voldemort would usually address his death eaters. Perhaps you should work a little on Voldemort's dialogues. The rest were pretty okay. Your grammar is fine too.

All in all, this was an intriguing start to your story and I think you have a nice way carved for your story forward. Good going!

10/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review. =)

Sorry it took so long, but I've been thinking about your reviews very carefully since you wrote them.

I'm really glad that you like Regulus. I truly think that he's worth a story. In a way he's very similar to Sirius, he just carved different path than his elder brother.

I guess my Voldy isn't quite as baddie as he should. I'll do my best to make him more evil when we meet him later again.

Thank you for taking time and reading these chapters. It really meant a lot to me.


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