Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:manno_malfoy says:
Ah, stunning chapter is stunning! All the feelings...! And all the heartbreaking love! I can't even...! But I'll try for you, Amanda.

Alright! First of all, I can't help but notice the new point of view that this chapter has started with -James's! Yay! It's really nice to actually not just see him again -we haven't seen much of him since the train, I think- but to also see things through his eyes for a little while! I rather like James in this sort of sincere state; or is he always like that? Anyway, it's really sweet how he actually does have feelings for Lily and sort of proves it by watching her move around the map until he falls asleep... Even if it's a little creep-ish and stalker-ish, it implies great care and that's a good thing! And I can't wait to see more about James's feelings towards Lily. I also love how the map is still under construction! The Marauders are awesome people indeed, but I'm sure that a map as elaborate as that would take some massive amount of serious effort to be completed.

Now, onto Lily and Regulus. Here's yet another scene where they cross paths, but this is not just some other scene! This is THE scene that, as I think anyway, the story centres about, and you've written it beautifully; I absolutely loved it! I like how Regulus sort of isn't sure why exactly he is doing this or why he's interested in it at all! He's just doing it on instinct and it sort of satisfies him and gives him something that's intriguing to do, so he just goes along with it anyway!

I also liked Lily's attitude; she's confident and intrigued by Regulus's interest in the matter, and, at the same time, slightly worried about the number of things that making a deal as such with Regulus could bring. I also liked how she was a little touched by hearing that Severus misses her; it's just... sad, really.

The interaction between the two seemed very professional and, indeed, as Regulus had put it, 'business'-like. Except that the two of them agreed to a deal that neither of them is really sure about the outcome of.

Now, onto the scene of Severus and Regulus, the one that I actually teared up while reading... I don't know if this really was emotional or if I'm the one who was just overly touched by it, but it has certainly affected me. During the past chapter, we had only seen grief over this broken friendship inside Lily's head or on Severus but through Regulus's eyes -Regulus who hardly knew anything about the history between Severus and Lily. But this time, we actually see how this truly hurts Severus, to which extent it affects him, how vulnerable it makes him. He's not just stalking her society and hoping to see her or watching her from across class, no. He's sitting and crying out of guilt and love and it was such a painful scene to read!

I loved how sympathetic Regulus seemed to be and how seeing Snape in this state rather encouraged him to try and hold up his end of the deal. I also find it nice how the deal has been made before he saw Severus so broken up; no, he kind of guessed how much Severus seemed to care for Lily and he just wanted to do something about it. Oh, and it was nice to see how, despite sympathising with Severus, Regulus told Severus to try to be a little discreet when it comes to his thoughts about Lily.

Oh, and, a little note. I'm never too certain about grammar, but I think that in this chapter, there were a few errors with the dialogue's punctuation. Like, at some points, there were full-stops where there should have been commas. I may be wrong though... Still, I thought I should point it out in case I am right.

And, the last person I'd like to talk about is Sirius. I've noticed that, in some stories, he seems to be overly eager to cut off his family. But you know what I think? No matter what you think about your family or what they think about you or how much pressure they put on you to change, especially when you're just a teenager, breaking away would be scary. And, therefore, I'm very glad you've showed this side of the matter in your story! It's just realistic and logical and I love it!

All in all, this has been a chapter that has moved us ahead a lot! We began to see more events, more important decisions being made, and more feelings being confessed to. I think this has been the most eventful chapter since the beginning of the story and I have thoroughly enjoyed it! Wonderful job and feel free to re-request at anytime.

"Don't call her by her surname."

"Why not? It's still her name," Regulus said, confused.

"That's what he calls her."

-insert infinite hearts here-


Author's Response: Manno, this review is huge! Thank you!! :)

James, I think, is really interesting. So many people jump on the anti-Snily bandwagon and talk about how Severus is a creepy stalker, and yet I have to wonder how different James would be if their roles were reversed. Would it really be so outside his character to secretly watch Lily hanging out with her boyfriend and try to figure out how he could get close to her? I didn't really mean for this to come across as threatening, but yeah, it does have that element to it. At the same time, though, it's sort of sweet, and I'm glad you liked it. The map was fun to fit into that scene as well.

It's great that you liked the 'major' scene in this chapter, the one referenced in the story summary. I agree that Regulus seems quite a bit unsure in his motives; I don't know that I've figured them out totally yet, except that he wants to watch the interaction unfold. Maybe he just really, really wants to avoid Potions. Who knows? Lily, too, seems a bit unsteady, and I think you said it well when you said that neither of them really understands what they're getting into. I think that's a major theme with the plot overall.

That scene was tough, so it means a lot to me that you cried, if that makes any sense :) I really wanted to show different sides of Severus. He's so used to being good at most things he puts his hands to, like Potions, and I think it must have really pained him to watch his efforts with Lily go to complete and utter waste. No matter how long he sits, waiting and watching, she just won't come back to him. He has to put himself out there and suffer more pain to even get her attention. It's a bit unsettling to even think of it now!

Regulus's feelings here certainly are complicated. On the one hand, Lily's blood status activates his gag reflex a little bit. On the other hand, he sees this person hurting in front of him and doesn't understand why the pain has to be there, since Snape appears to have decent intentions. I think Regulus's friendship with Snape will only get more interesting from here. Hopefully, anyway :)

Thanks for that note. I'll go back and check.

I'm glad you liked Sirius. I always find him interesting to write because I think he's got a lot of pain to explore, just like the others. I agree that it would be really scary to leave the family, especially considering what happened to Andromeda when she chose to do so. Hopefully he can find some relief with James.

Thanks so much for this truly awesome review! I'll be sure to re-request when chapter seven is up! :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 168
Submit Report: