|Review:||Live Life Large says:|
Hey, LiveLarge here with your requested review!
This was a really sweet one-shot. It was a little strange, honestly, to read about Hermione having grey hair because she will always be a teenager to me, though I guess it happens to everyone, eh? It's funny, because I can totally picture future me going through me kids' old yearbooks and finding out about all of their friends(;
The idea of Ron and Hermione going through their kids' yearbooks is certainly a new one, so great job on originality! This definitely made for a refreshing read.
There were a few things I noticed that I wanted to point out to you:
-"The bad, such as when Rose first mentioned Scorpious and she were dating- she could have sworn Ron almost had a heart attack, he still had a grudge against anything even remotely related to the name Malfoy but it had become less when Hugo had been placed in Slytherin and became friends with Scorpious."
This sentence is really long, and feels a little run together because of that. I would suggest a semicolon between "heart attack" and "he still" to separate the Rose bit from the general Malfoy bit, and a comma between "the name Malfoy" and "but it had become" to help the sentence flow a little smoother.
-"[Adain] had apparently inherited Scorpious qualities that made him a Slytherin because Adain was also sorted into Slytherin."
You have another long sentence on your hands here, so may I suggest saying "Scorpious's Slytherin qualities" instead?
-"Memories of when Rose... how nice all of the other Gryffindor’s were..."
Because it's not a conjunction nor is it possessive, I don't think Gryffindor's needs an apostrophe.
-"Now where was I, oh yeah the man was advancing towards her."
I think this sentence would flow a bit better if you split it into two and added a bit more punctuation. For example:
"Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the man was advancing toward her."
-"'Rose then listened to what the girl was trying to say before she realised she was trying to say Ridikules!'"
This is pretty minor and nit-picky, but if you're referring to the spell used against a boggart, it's spelt 'Riddikulus'. Don't worry too much about that, though.
Your characterization was very good, and I liked the way Ron still relied on Hermione to know certain things, like "Adios" and "amour de". I thought they were both very believable, and I can easily see this as a continuation of the series because of that. Even with the minor characters I think you captured their essence brilliantly, like when Neville wrote, “You’ve got your fathers looks and your mother’s brains, but you are only yourself. Good luck, Headmaster Longbottom." I can definitely hear him saying that.
Overall great read! I hope this was helpful(: Thank you for requesting, feel free to come back!
Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you thought it was original! :)
I'll go through my piece and edit it using the suggestions, so thanks a ton for pointing them out!
I'm glad you think the characterisation was good, that's one of the things I'm not too good at, along with spelling!
Thanks again for reviewing! :)