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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Hi here with your requested review :)

Alright so right off the bat I want to say that the concept is great. I love the idea that Lily sees Fred after he died. And the way you left off this chapter as such a cliffie I thought that was good. Now given that I did think that this chapter could use a little bit of work:

First off I felt like there was a lot of emotion in this chapter, and not all of seemed appriate. The way that everyone was acting seemed like the war had ended just yesterday. I don't think its appropriate for Next Gen kids to be sobbing about the war when in reality they never knew the people who died. Then the people who did know them seemed like the loved ones had died just yesterday. When loved ones die in real life, after a while you can think back and not sob endlessly over them. Sure you feel sad, but you don't fall down on your knees and scream why me? If that makes sense. Then I thought something was off when people were clapping because Rookwood died. That seemed kind of cruel for the wizarding comunity to be doing.

The grammar was good. I think I saw one or two words whose spelling was off but it was nothing a quick once over can't fix.

This story shows a lot of promise, the plot seems super interesting. So good work with that.

-BW24

Author's Response: Awh, thanks for reading!

I'm glad you like the concept, I thought it was pretty interesting and I hadn't read a story with the same plot line. (:

I see what you're saying about the emotion, I hadn't thought about that when I wrote it. I'll definitly take this in to consideration and I'll probably go back and re-do some stuff. I get what you're saying.

I normally have a real big problem with grammar, so I'm glad it was good!

I'm glad you enjoyed, thanks for reviewing!


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