Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:maskedmuggle says:
Hey! :) Pass the parcel~
I've been meaning to read the house cup entries, so I'm glad I get the chance to read yours! It's been really interesting seeing what Hufflepuff have done with Susan and the prompts. I think she's the most OC out of all the house champions, so there was quite a lot you could have done with her. The plot idea you had here was really interesting and quite original.

I'm not quite sure I understand the purpose of the bag - it feels slightly like a prop for the story without any real reason behind it? You mentioned there was a foe-glass, a sneakoscope, a sleeping draught and a jacket in the bag, yet the story you told only had the snippet about the jacket! I think there's even more potential with this story - you could write a moment about the foe-glass, the sneakoscope and a sleeping draught - moments from Susan's lives to really tie the story together more (and help me understand why these four items are in the bag).

I really liked the bit with Cedric though! He's the champion, but he was so sweet and kind enough to care about Susan and lend her his jacket! I thought that was great. Again, with the 5 years later scene - I want to know why Susan has a dragon! It seems very random, and it's not every person that can have a dragon if they want to. So all in all, it's a good story, but I think a bit more development could make it even better. Nice writing! :)
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad you liked the plot idea, I wasn't sure where it came from it just sort of hit me!
I'll go back and see what I can do about the bag and also try to put in some more information between her going to sleep and the five years later part.
Again, thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you liked the part with Cedric! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net