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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Hi!!!

So this story was different to say the least. I can't say that I've ever read a story in which Ron has animated a water tower before, but it was original which was good. The way you tied it into Ron's emotional drama made it seem more believable, and when you made it a dream it became realistic.

Your characterization of Ron was also good. He was angsty, and a bit immature, and you could tell he thought he could do no wrong. All very Ron like of him. And even though I am a strong shipper of Romione, and don't really ever see Harry/Heromione ever working out, you made it work for this one shot, so congrats.

Now there are some areas that could use some work. Most importantly would be your sentence structure. This entire piece felt like simple sentence after simple sentence after simple sentence. Try and vary it a bit more. Add some compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences in there, it would really transform your writing. Also I felt like you started a lot of sentences and paragraphs with Ron's name. Again a little bit of variationi would be nice. Whether you just changed a few Ron's to He's or re worked some sentencing to start differently, it would really help your writing.

But overall this was definitely a very original peice. Keep up the good work!!!

-BW24

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This definitely isn't my best piece of writing. I took it as a challenge to write a story about a water tower, and this is how it turned out. By the end I was so sick of thinking about and writing it that I simply threw words on a page and was done. Thanks for the review though!

love,

Am.Ginny


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