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Review:LunarLuna says:
~Requested Review~
Hey it's LunarLuna with your review!^^ I've decided to go about this in a more structured way then I usually do for not really any precise reason... ;)

Flow: The flow is a little too fast to be easily followed, I'd suggest adding in a bit more description of the surrounding space as well as the interaction between characters because right now it's a little hard to follow and not really well defined :)

Characters: The chapter being short, we don't see much of them, but I think you've played them well. In just this short chapter you've managed to establish the characters personalities and behavior in a very realistic and tangible matter. Well done!^^

Grammar: I spotted a few typo's and minor errors that I'm too lazy to transcript xD but I'm sure if you just did a quick re-read you would spot them and fix them easily :)

Overall: I love the concept of the story and the poem as well, I think with just a bit more description this would be really astonishingly brilliant. As is, it's still a really great story :D Keep it up!!^^



Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much!

Ok, thanks for pointing that out :) I'll go back and see where I can add in more detail :)

Yep, I do just that. I'm not very good at spelling and grammar :/

Thanks again and I hope you read and review the next chappies to come :D x

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