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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Hey!! Happy pass the parcel review!

I think this was an interesting one shot -- portraying the relationship between James and Lily and their third wheel. I know so many couples like that in real life, that end up more or less babysitting one of their friends. I do think that your characterization of Sirius felt a bit too young for him... I know you wanted him to appear immature and what not, but there is a difference between immaturity and being a child. Everything was still really amusing, though... so it's just something to think about for future writings. Also, I'd suggest using a few more dialogue tags or descriptions than you do here... I love that everything snapped together quickly, but it was a bit confusing as to who was saying what to whom. Also, a few descriptors after the speech will help to fill out the scenery and make this scene more real in setting.

All in all, good little one shot! Keep up the good work.

-Melissa
Ravenclaw 2012

Author's Response: I know I'm working on the dialogues. This story is under construction. I'm doing some serious editing. I've been having this confusing people problem but now I'm getting over it bit by bit. :)

Thank you for the lovely review Melissa. I know I babysit the love of my life, Sirius. Too much I guess. I'll get that sorted out :)

*Hugs*


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